wtf mate? what what?

I was 110% certain I had posted this link last year. I was wrong... pesky me.

This is one of my favorite flash animations of all time, entitled The End Of The World. If you haven't seen it already, enjoy.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/endofworld.html

"dude, where's your shirt?"

As it turns out, I seem to have recovered quite quickly. The damn flu went away in 24 hours, leaving mild back pains that ache every so often, but basically no other annoying symptoms.

I sent out some eCards to various folks to wish happy holidays. Most of them ones I haven't seen in a while or heard from in ages. I had the great annual debate about sending eCards to exs and/or people I've dated... it's the only part of this season I dread, as I never know what to do, but always have it on my mind. I decided this year that they already know I am thinking of them and that I wish them the best of the season, so why darken their internet doorsteps... as the saying goes, "Don't poke the bear."

I had to go pick up a few gift items or at least start my shopping today. I decided to go and get the accoutrements for making a cheesecake... my specialite is the Chocolate Raspberry Cheesecake, a cheesecake of 3 wedding proposals in one evening... I never tire of that story ;)

The cheesecake will be part of my gift to my aunt and uncle, along with Rum :) Rum good... cheesecake good... homemade cheesecake to die for... yes...

Aside from that I bought a pair of jeans. I haven't bought myself any new clothes in so long I feel like a used rag with legs. The jeans were tighter than I normally wear, but the odd thing is that even though I bought a smaller size I still had enough extra room to drop down a bit more... sacre bleu! I have no delusions that this size in every jean name-brand would fit, but it felt good that one of the big name produced jeans that I thought would be too small ended up being too big :)

I had a coffee date with someone new, he's quite nice, has a great job, has sex appeal and has adopted a child of his very own. I don't know what his impression of me was, but I found him interesting. I'll have to keep an eye on this one to see what happens after the holidays.

A few of us went to Lulu tonight. We were disappointed because we were running late and missed a lot of the show... 99% of the time, the latest we arrive is during intermission... but whatever, Lulu was on fire and had me in stitches in a few moments... after the show, we were hanging in the smoking room and Lulu and Pricilla happened to share a table with us... that in and of itself was enough to make me giddy, but then along came this crazy old dude who seemed to want to profess his love [and/or lust] for Lulu to the whole world... after making an obvious impression on Lulu with his words, he produced a heart shaped rock that he had brought for her... this had a positive affect on her, as she likes/collects rocks and enjoyed such a nice gift... a drag queen that collects rocks from special places, now that's adorable! anyway, she thanked the guy, deposited the rock in her cleavage and went about her business :)

Scariness factor of said dude > High
Probability of a successful liaison with Lulu > Low
Overall entertainment factor > Extreme High

Hehe, anyway, the dude was a bit on the older side and had stripped off his shirt and undulated around the dance floor several times during the night. Having more of a 'robust' figure, the undulating wasn't condusive to keeping my beer, McCheeseburger and Chocolate milk down the ol' hatch. On more than one occasion he graced the smoking room with his presence and I had the delight of conversing with him on two occasions. Droll, very droll.

All in all, the evening was a blast and I laughed my goofy brain too pieces.

Memorable, to be sure!

1 am eternal

it is 1:20 am, I've been sick all day and slept fitfully thru a lot of it... I have to get up for work at 7am and now I can't get to sleep... argh! I have this flu that I get every few years, it's baked... I don't get stuffiness or congestion, my throat doesn't hurt, I basically get a mild fever, some chills, cold sweats... but the kicker is the severe back ache... some people complain of sore muscles with the flu, I feel like someone has take a hammer to my back... right from the top of my neck down to the backs of my knees... it all cramps up and aches and burns... copious amounts of painkillers take the edge off, but it doesn't go away and it makes comfort pretty much impossible... I remember the first time I got it when I was around 10 years old... I was in the mall shopping with my cousins and my back started seizing up and hurt like a mother fucker... I eventually had to go to the bank my mom worked in and sit and wait for her to finish work to take me home... what a nightmare... and while it doesn't come every year, it comes often enough to make me dread it... I know the symptoms and I know the feeling, no other sickness I've had is quite like it...

wah, wah, wah... quit your whining, it goes away pretty quick... the unfortunate part about this bout is that I have to work through it and because the car is still in Truro until Thursday, I've been bussing it back and forth... the bus hurts my back on a regular day, this morning on the way home I was ready to end it all and just throw myself in front of the bus...

so here I am, watching the seconds tick by, getting chills and cold sweats in succession, which is making my bed a hot/cold sweaty torture... aching in successive waves of muscle cramps and burning sensations... unable to sleep and thinking about how much fun training folks is going to be at 9am... ugh...

on a happier note, I may not have to work on the 27th, so my trip to CB for Christmas may not be an overnighter :) yay!

now, on to taking over the world! I should go talk to those 2 white rats, they are pros at that... NARF!

not delusional at all are you, not delusional at all...

fin

fate and forlorn epistles, unsent and tear stained

Never Is A Promise
- Fiona Apple

You'll never see - the courage I know
Its colors' richness won't appear within your view
I'll never glow - the way that you glow
Your presence dominates the judgements made on you

But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch; I see from greater heights
I understand what I am still too proud to mention - to you

You'll say you understand, but you don't understand
You'll say you'd never give up seeing eye to eye
But never is a promise, and you can't afford to lie

You'll never touch - these things that I hold
The skin of my emotions lies beneath my own
You'll never feel the heat of this soul
My fever burns me deeper than I've ever shown - to you

You'll say, Don't fear your dreams, it's easier than it seems
You'll say you'd never let me fall from hopes so high
But never is a promise and you can't afford to lie

You'll never live the life that I live
I'll never live the life that wakes me in the night
You'll never hear the message I give
You'll say it looks as though I might give up this fight

But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch, I see from greater heights
I realize what I am now too smart to mention - to you

You'll say you understand, you'll never understand
I'll say I'll never wake up knowing how or why
I don't know what to believe in, you don't know who I am
You'll say I need appeasing when I start to cry
But never is a promise and I'll never need a lie

Just for you... I couldn't find words to say what I needed to...

Beauty and the beast. (With actual punctuation in places.)

After the whole "waking up with a song in my head" thing going on, I found myself strangely attuned to everything around me. It was a very odd morning whilst I rode the bus to work and back. I was greeted by the faces of many people; happy, sad, worried, stressed (many about shopping, you could see the lists floating around in their heads...) and I was struck by how wonderfully beautiful people are. I'm a people watcher by nature, but yesterday I was awe'd at all the beauty I saw around me. It's more an intrinsic/inner beauty that I was sensing and observing. We all look at things in a way that determines what we find aesthetically pleasing and it's different for everyone. There are social generalities that we can make; people that take the time to look nice, wear nice clothes and present themselves in a favorable fashion are generally considered more beautiful than the guy that just slept in a dumpster, has spaghetti stuck to his face and holes in his clothes. The beauty I was observing was much deeper than just the shell we wear. Regardless of a persons' aesthetic beauty, their inner beauty is there shining out like a beacon for anyone to see. It's difficult to see in some people, as it clouded by things like anger, self loathing and sometimes fear... but if you look hard enough it's still there. I watched people as they got on and off the bus, or stood along the streets, or sat in their cars at stop lights and I absorbed some of this beauty. The wonder of observing the uniqueness of individuals and trying to figure out what it was I was feeling, gave me an unbelievable sense of completeness and inclusion in everything around me. At the same time, I felt like I was sitting there on my own, that no one else could see what I was sensing.

Things I saw in faces that seemed really beautiful listed in no way, shape or from: the old man struggling to carry his bag and the sense of relief he displayed at not having to walk any further; the complacent look on the bag lady's face as she asked for change for a coffee; the look of fear on the pretty woman's face as she answered her cel phone; the anger evident among people in the car that was stuck behind a oil truck filling someone's home oil tank; the joy on the face of the young mother as she told her child about where the bus was taking them; the sadness and bruised sensations emanating from the woman with the overcoat and nice shoes; the contemptible look the young man gave the old bum as he opened the bus window to dissipate the foul odor; the weariness of the two teenage girls pushing their baby carriages; the cockiness of the young man with the black leather coat as he scanned the bus for a seat; the pain on the face of the old woman as she hobbled to the front of the bus; the consternation of the girl trying to get her wheelchair through the snow at the end of the crosswalk; the joy on the face of the girl at the bus stop when she noticed her friend walking up the street towards her; the frustration of the man hopping off the bus as his connecting bus pulled away without him;

We see the beauty of the natural world around us all the time. It's too bad we often miss out on the beauty of who and what we are.

"I have the power!"

Seems it's a week for things that strike me as hilariously funny.

monday morning

Weekends
(Perishers)

You don’t know me
But I’m sitting next to you
Every morning
On the bus or on the tube

You look tired
Would it help to hear me say
Don’t you worry
Friday’s not that far away?

On the weekends
We try to get our share
Of excitement and of fresh air
Trying to forget
Who we’re gonna be
When the alarm rings
On monday morning

If in the evening
All you do is watch TV
Cause your too tired for anything else
You’re just like me

Just remember
As you struggle through the day
Relief awaits you
Friday’s not that far away

Oddly enough, I woke up with this song running through my head. I don't know who sent it to me, but it's on my iPod... so many people have been sending me miscellaneous indie/non-USmainstream music lately that I've lost track of who sent what, but whoever sent it thanks! :0 this song has such a nice feel and sound, it's yummy to wake up to...

Priceless on a dull Sunday afternoon...

Wow...

And you thought you had time on your hands? Holy tunderin' fuck...

http://www.break.com/articles/houselights.html

I am impressed, if not a little bit disturbed. It's something I'd like to try myself, but I'm sure the neighbors would have me assassinated. :)

Stultum est timere quod vitare non potes

Oh I found a place I could go,
where the sun and the moon lit the waters,
with a light so bright and so pure,
and the only thing wanting was life...

And beauty seemed like it was common,
and the seasons brought familiarity,
given all that was laid out before me,
I can't say it was more than a dream...

Given all that I found in this place,
with the roads leading every which way,
and no choices to live in this dream world,
I seek a way back to reality...

I walk towards my inevitable end,
and time passes so quickly,
and the song that I hear on the wind,
says "you will die alone, but free"

strike two

to top off an already stellar week, my plans to make a surprise visit to CB for the weekend fell apart when the car died in the middle of nowhere, about 30 minutes outside Truro... I had to laugh, it was like deja vu... any pleasant thoughts I've tried to have about anything or anyone have flown out the window... fuck this week, fuck stupid people, fuck stupid cars and fuck winter! and if you're one of the ones that have pissed me off lately, FUCK YOU TOO!

ahhhhh, that felt good :)

turkey!

A good sleep, time spent with friends and a drive in the snow certainly changes lots of thing. The holidays are just around the corner and I couldn't be happier. Work has been nowhere near as busy as I had hoped it would, so the finances aren't in the greatest of shape, but the holidays for me are all about family... so while my gifts may not be as nice as I had hoped to give, it'll be all ok... the godson and mom will be here Sunday, I'm eagerly waiting to meet the little tyke :) and given all the good things I have going for me at this time of year, my loneliness and sad thoughts have sort of drifted away... I get pangs every once in a while, but hell, I get them even when I'm dating someone, so there's nothing new here :) my new year's resolutions have been accentuated by a willingness to be a little more free with me... I always told myself at 30 I'd do things a bit differently and I have started on the right foot :) I've been a bit more careful in my eating habits and I'm nearly the same weight I was in grade 10... that for me is amazing... grade 10 I was 175... grade 12 I was 180-185... second year college I hit the 190 area and went up to 200 during my college years... when I went out west i stayed around 190-200 for most of the stay and in the past 5 years I've basically been 190-195... at my 30th birthday I told myself I'd start exercising and eating better... the exercise hasn't panned out as I had planned, though I do more physical activity than i used to... but the eating has become a lot better and over the past year I've dropped a little weight at a time until I've gotten down to 176-178 steadily... my ideal weight as calculated on several of those ideal body weight calculators is 170-175... so I'm quite happy with myself... if I keep it up I can achieve a weight around 175 and maintain it :) the next step is to solidify some of the body parts and tone a bit of the body, so I guess exercise is in the near future... the jazz dance classes may be just the answer for that... we'll see... anyway, given all that's going on in my life that's good, I have nothing to complain about after all is said and done :) tis the season to be jolly, and after careful reflection, I truly am a jolly not-so-fat man :)

mmmm :)

I Love You - Sarah McLachlan

I have a smile
stretched from ear to ear
to see you walking down the road

we meet at the lights
I stare for a while
the world around us disappears

just you and me
on my island of hope
a breath between us could be miles

let me surround you
my sea to your shore
let me be the calm you seek

oh and every time I'm close to you
there's too much I can't say
and you just walk away

and I forgot
to tell you
I love you
and the night's
too long
and cold here
without you
I grieve in my condition
for I cannot find the words to say I need you so

oh and every time I'm close to you
there's too much I can't say
and you just walk away

and I forgot
to tell you
I love you
and the night's
too long
and cold here
without you
I grieve in my condition
for I cannot find the words to say I need you so

One of my favorite songs of all time. I listen to it often, but on nights when I'm sad I find it soothing, if not a bit emotionally provoking. But it always speaks to me, reminding me that I'm all to often closed off and reserved to people I love and/or want to get to love me. It's been the downfall of more relationships than I care to recall, with yet another added to the list. So my New Years resolution this Jan 1st, 2006 will be to try to be more open and let people get to know who I really am. I wish it was as simple as writing it down, because it's something I've struggled with all my life.

melancholy and the infinite sadness

el dumpo... it seems my feelings for this relationship were quite far off, which really makes me question myself, I'm usually much more in tune with people and read them better... at least he was honest and told me he didn't feel any connection, even though on my part, I thought there was... all I am today is sad and tired... winter and snow and now pouring rain and getting dumped... what a rough sunday... I woke up to a dumping over MSN, but the worst part was that I had forgotten my necklace and some library movies at his place, so I had to go over and pick stuff up... le sigh, as if getting dumped isn't hard enough... even worse he was nice and even gave me one of his paintings... that was it for me... I was driving away and burst into tears and had to pull over into a snowbank to collect myself... in all the other aspects of my life I am strong and able to cope with just about anything... why does it have to be that with love I'm more fragile than rice paper... and it seems so unreal to look for people to just have something meaningful and special with... people who seem nice and that I'm attracted to end up having no interest in me on that level... I want something more than just a casual friend, I want something more than just casual sex, I want something more than just a simple person in my life, I want someone special that thinks I'm special... it's so hard to decide how to proceed, I just don't trust my instincts anymore... and without them I'm afraid that I'm just in for a long line of pain and hurt in relationships that are totally one sided... more than anything today I want to pack it all up, move to the Caribbean and live under my coconut tree... it's easy to leave the pain behind when it's not cold, snowy and miserable outside matching the feelings inside... and more than anything I want to stop being lonely and find someone who will fall in love with me... I don't think that's too much to ask...

where shall I go from here...?

As winter begins to creep closer and the days become as short as they possibly can, I find myself thinking about where I'll be in the next 5 years... The last five year plan is in crescendo and by next summer I will be in a position to reach for the apex, should all things follow along as they have been... the plan always made sense, it always seemed so much fun, it always gave me direction when I was sick of a job, or tired of being in a place, or lonely and lacking drive... but in the past six months something clicked in my head and my mindset seems different... the old plan still seems like great fun, it seems almost surreal that I might just be able to pull it off, but now I'm not sure that I want to... I have a fairly good job, that I enjoy more than any other I've had and lets me be my own boss for all intensive purposes... I enjoy this city with it's growing population and it's homeyness... I'm close to family and friends and the ocean... I think I've grown comfortable, which has never happened before... this is leading me to question where I'm heading and what I really want... should I work to make the old plan happen, give up my job, city, environment and go have a year of adventures? should I let go of my comfortable state of being and just let the wind take me wherever it will? at this point in life, do I really want to go traveling on my own? the answer to all these questions was yes for such a long time that it's weird to doubt myself and admit that I'm not so sure anymore... a new five year plan would take me to the year 2010... that's a year that back in the 80's and early 90's I used to see used as the setting for sci-fi movies... and here I am now looking at making plans to take me there... what an odd feeling, especially since I can't really make any type of plans unless I come to a decision as to what my focus should be... do I adventure abroad and set myself free to the currents of experience or do I settle down here and build something more with what I've got? either way, I will still get to travel and explore new parts of the world, I have my checklist written in my head... but there's a difference between just letting go to the whims of chance and the meticulous planning involved in traveling around the complexities of employment, home life, responsibilities and obligations... and all this is tinged with an odd feeling that I want someone to share this with, someone to make "my adventures" into "our adventures"... that feeling has been present since the summer, I have no idea why... not long ago, I ran into a friend at the club and we had a nice little conversation catching us up on the new and excitings of our lives... she asked me, "So you seeing anyone special?" I answered, "No, not right now." She smiled a bit and, knowing me well enough from years gone by, she said "So you're happily single?" I answered, "No." This threw her off a little bit, but it shocked me right to the core. Our conversation continued along, but I couldn't get past the fact I'd actually said that... I'd never even thought it to myself, let alone said it out loud. At that point, unwittingly, I had told myself the truth and it's been on my mind ever since. And therein lies the crux of the dilemma. The old plan was based on a mindset of a single man with no intentions of anything else but to have fun, adventure and explore without any hinderances, obligations or responsibilities. That doesn't fit so well anymore and like a pair of pants two sizes too small, it may have to be put aside... which then necessitates the implementation of a new plan... for the sake of balance, I need to have some sort of idea where I'm trying to go to... day to day life is the chaos I thrive on, the adventure, the uncertainty... I let daily life surprise me with new things to do, places to be, adventures to pop up out of the blue... the order I need to offset that is entrenched in the idea that I have a plan of some sort, that I'm not rudderless on the open ocean... chaos of daily life, balanced by the order of a long term vision... it's what keeps me moderately sane... six months of thinking and self ascertaining, mind crunching and this is where I am... and I'm left asking myself the question...

laughter, the best medicine

"i'm not done eating! does it take you 20 minutes to drive here?"

"oh no oh no, i wish i wasn't so high maintenance"

"i should have been getting ready hours ago!"

"what am i gonna wear!  my hair's not done!  what should i put on for a fragrance... oh i'm having a panic attack"

Just because it made me laugh my fool ass off.

visitations from a shadowy planet

what an extraordinarily enjoyable weekend I had... the original plan had been to visit cape breton and the relatives that were going to be there for a few days... after just getting the car back, paying the repair bills, having work scheduled all day friday and monday... I couldn't justify a trip there and back in two days... it worked out for the best anyhow... I ended up with a date for friday night that turned out to be fabulous... I met a wonderful guy and we shared dinner at il Mercato, a place that has now amazed me with unbelievably great food twice in a row... then we went to see a really funny play called Gay White Trash down at The Crib. I laughed my ass off... was really well done... the characters were from Pictou, and reminded me very much of lots of folks I grew up with from the island... memorable to say the least... the night finished off with a trip to Perks and nearly two hours of chatting with said wonderful guy... I admit, I was all aflutter by the time I got home amid plans for a second date the next evening, which included a movie and an evening cuddling... he's pretty dreamy... I had a nice brunch earlier in the day with a friend, and did a little tidying up, so saturday was almost perfect in its enjoyment factor... sunday was veg and relax day, finished off with a trip to Harry Potter in IMAX... well, I decided I really did like the movie after all... the way it was laid out made much more sense after seeing it the second time... and well, IMAX makes it 100 times better just by itself... all in all, a blissful weekend of fun, adventure and romance wrapped into one... if only all weekends were this good...

HOBGOBLIN!

It's an actual beer from England. On a trip to the liquor store today I saw the bottle, read the label and had to have it! It is pictured below with an advert they used that I found on their website. It made me laugh.

All in all, nice bottle, good presentation and a tasty beer. 8.5 out of ten.

there came a day when the heavens opened and a star fell to the earth... amid the silence of the skies stood a serene and serendipitous monument to the tributary of a moment inexplicably significant... but only to me... not a star, but an angel with wings spread to block out the sun and moon, blanketing the atmosphere, dark within night... and I stood alone, looking upon it and it took me up within its arms and smiled

Ho, ho, ho!

Actually, we're none of us ho's, we're just happy in an elvish way. Heehee! The pictures were taken at the Parade of Lights a week or so ago, we all stood down on Spring Garden Road in Halifax and nearly fell into a flower bed. Tres amusant.



I'm so elfy!



Here it looks like someone is ticking my testicles. What an odd expression... Truth be told, Alanna's camera had a double flash on it, so Mark and I kept thinking it had taken the picture, but the joke was on us! We looked funny in all the photos, it fooled us every time.

The car is working, I picked it up yesterday. Thank fuck. It runs as well as it did before it's breakdown... which means it still has a bad clutch, the rattle in the engine is still loud and it gained a squeaky belt. But it goes from point A to point B. That's the main thing.

Went with Todd, Mark and Alanna last night to see the documentary WAL-MART: The High Cost of Low Price. I thought it was quite good and it shed some light on the real infamy of the corporation. It was extremely one sided, but considering Walmart spends so much on its marketing campaigns to make itself look good, I think this was a nice balance to all the crap on TV. It's definitely worth watching just to see what Walmart really does to small town life. WATCH IT NOW!! OR ELSE!! Heehee.

the things you see on the net...

Oh Yuck.

This made me un-hungry.

The comments are pretty funny. My favorite was:

"You know what's really scary? It's for a bachelor party, and a hooker is going to jump out of it wearing meatball pasties."

Hehehe!

Actually, the rest of that particular journal is worth a look see. The photos are hilarious.

Metro Transit, you make me ill

Actually, in this case it's not really the bus, it's the people on it... I've been uncomfortable on the past few bus rides I've been subjected to, having witnessed things I didn't really want to see...

Subject A - he sat in the sideways seat a few feet ahead of me near the back of the bus... he obviously had a nervous disorder of some sort, as he constantly fidgeted and looked around like the CIA were after him... the rather yucky part was that he kept picking himself... his nose, eyes, ears, face, hair, it was like he had a million itches and was determined to scratch them all... what was worse, he would pick and then look at his fingers as if he'd caught something and begin again on another area... at one point he scratched into his face enough that it started bleeding and he proceeded to clean himself off by licking his finger and wiping it all over his face... I fixated my gaze on lampposts, but I can only turn my head so far around and the bus was nearly full except for the empty seats between he and I... blech.

Subject B - she stood at the same bus stop as I did, not making a sound... as soon as she got on the bus she started hacking and coughing until I thought she would have to eventually dislodge the alien caught in her chest... luckily I was three seats back, but the girl she was sitting next to looked traumatized... I know I didn't exactly feel all that well after 20 minutes of hearing that, I certainly didn't feel very clean... I was wondering what was in the air... ick...

Subjects C, D and E - surround and conquer, they used that tactic... fat little old lady and crabby little old man had a war of words two seats in front of me... it didn't last too long, thank goodness, but I was tired and it was enough to give me a headache... and of course, I had to sit next to sleeping beauty... some guy, about 6 foot 5 or more who had fallen asleep and was snoring really loudly... the back half of the bus was staring a hole through him, and thus, being beside him, everyone was also looking at me by proxy... it just made me uncomfortable...

so there, pesky bussessesses... I feel like purchasing a sound proof personal bio-dome so that I can ride the bus noise and germ free :)

*GASP*

My good gods, I saw this and my heart skipped a beat! MEOW!

Just when I thought I couldn't possibly find him in a more sexually appealing pose, this comes along... I'm so beside myself I can't think. Well, I can think pink! That's about it. Oh meow, meow, meow!

Oddly enough, I wasn't even looking for anything Brad, I was just reading the news and moseying along through a few random blogs and I ended up finding the pic. What a wonderful way to start a Monday. :)

It was on nightcharm.com, a fun little place to read gossip and fantasize about whatever the writers happen to be presenting on a silver platter for the day. Well, they have my thanks today. I'll take two orders of the main course.

Metro Transit, you make me ache

My damn back is achy and it's completely the fault of Metro Transit, the bus system in Halifax... at least I'll shovel all blame onto them, though technically they didn't design the seats on the buses, but they bought them and use them. The weekend was quite an adventure for me, tarnished only by the fact that I think I spent a combined 12 hours either riding on or standing in the cold waiting for buses. Yeesh. Thursday night was Lulu, but sortof not... my roommate (for the first time in as long as I've known him) decided to come to the show. His friend Tim was hosting the show while Lulu was away and doing drag for the evening, a flattering mock up of dear Lulu... we were in stitches the whole time. The highlight of the night for me was Travis as he zoomed from one end of the bar to the other echoing the word "merit", a crucial part of the show that had been lackluster all night. I think all the audience appreciated his efforts. I know I nearly fell off my stool. The roomie and I both had to work in the morning so I drove us home in his car... car, I say, I drove an actual car... it's been two weeks today since mine decided to be a wanton harlot and leave my side... pesky car, but I digress... so home we go after bumping into the beautiful Hanna and Matt, who convinced us (I asked, and Hanna playfully shoved a chicken shawarma in my face, teehee) that the roomie needed food from Venus Pizza. We went and as I had experienced before, the counter guy was rude. Le sigh, I actually wanted a slice of pizza, but I can't deal with rude customer service... peskiness, true peskiness... home we go. I checked my email and found a reply to an email I had sent to a special guy, we've had a chance to chat online a few times since then. I've had stars in my eyes all weekend. Whee! I was dreading Friday morning, I knew it would include 3 hours of bussing to northeast Dartmouth and back for a training session... at least it had stopped raining, it rained all bloody week. After the exhausting and uncomfortable ride back I spent the rest of the day tidying my room and doing laundry, which inevitably lead into a shopping trip. So roomie and another friend and I all went on a little outting to Bayer's lake for fun. I wanted a new pair of jeans, but didn't see anything I liked. So I bought a toy instead. It was $4.99 for a Boohbah Zippity Zumbah, the purple thing below...



So my friends thought I was crazy buying it, but it amused me and was cheap. Who doesn't want cheap amusement?!? So we made a trip to Liquor Heaven (the stylish new NSLC store they opened in Bayer's lake) and bought some Heineken and went home to watch some SVU. I gamed into the wee hours of the night and overslept, nearly missing out on a friend visiting for the day. We met up and had dinner at Swiss Chalet, a place I haven't been in eons. Good lord, their ribs are to die for! My dad does the best ribs I've ever had at home on the BBQ, but man o' man, Swiss Chalet is a close second. A little bit of heaven on a plate, dolloped in sauce... mmm, sauce... We shopped all afternoon and then met up with another friend at Second Cup on Spring Garden. What a hoot, the two of them are like a comedy duo. We ended up recruiting two more folks and dancing into the wee hours of the morning at Reflections. I got to bed around 5:30am and slept a bit, then got up and jumped on another bloody bus. Luckily, earlier aforementioned shopping friend was on the bus as planned, so we did a bit more shopping and met up with another friend for brunch. An entirely fun but exhausting weekend, the only sore point to it all being my back. Whatever the bus seat did to me Friday morning it's been sore and achy since. Pesky bus. Of course, hours of dancing, walking around the city and lack of sleep had no effect on my back whatsoever. I should sue Metro Transit!

Good grief that was longer than I anticipated. I haven't written that much in a while. I must have been inspired. :)

The Godfather, Part 1

[Scene:] Al Pacino moves slowly to the forground holding nothing but a ...

Shit, wait... that's the wrong godfather. I meant me!

I got to talk to my friend in Edmonton today, she delivered her baby boy two weeks ago yesterday. Her sister lives with her and her mom is visiting for two weeks, so all's well in the household. She sounds really happy about the whole thing, it all went very well for her. I'm very excited myself, as one of my best friends has a little boy now... she's a mom! Still feels weird to say it after almost a year of talking about it, but she'll be home to visit in 3 weeks time so I guess it will really sink in at that point.

I had a good laugh during our conversation. I know a lot more about birthing and labour than most men would, having watched and read numerous TV show, internet articles and books on the subject. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure why I've read as much as I have, but I read so much about everything under the bloody sun that I guess it just got into the list at some point... go figure...

Anyway, she mentioned that she was in labor for 27 hours, which I know isn't all that uncommon a thing, but I said out loud, "Whew! 27 hours!" to which she replied, "No Dave! I wasn't PUSHING for 27 hours, I was just in labour." I went into peals of laughter, I couldn't help myself. We had a good chuckle over that and imagined how much you'd be pummeling the doctor screaming, "GET HIM OUT, NOW!" after 27 hours of pushing. Hehe!

Anyway, I'm going to be the godfather for the baby so I am rather excited about that too. At this point, the father isn't going to be involved with the child, so while I'm not going to become a father figure per say, I at least look forward to having some impact on this little child... if in no other way, at least I can smile, encourage and give birthday and holiday gifts. :)

"the continuing story of a quack who's gone to the dogs..."

So it seems that I can exchange the useless car part for another of the same nature, but with different genitals. The one I received was a male with a long dangly wire... the one I require is female with a great big slot. Who knew you could get gender confused car parts...

It looks like it should arrive at the repair centre on Tuesday, so if all works out well, I'll have it back Wednesday. That means I'll have it for two out-of-city work trips at the end of next week. I'll keep my toes crossed in the meantime...

I took the poochie out for a walk just as the sun was setting. On the way back I got a look at the first evening star and as always, I made a wish using the old children's rhyme "Star light, star bright," I've been making lots of wishes on stars lately, but none of them have come true. But that's really the fun of wishing... having hopes and dreams makes us more than simple automatons that endlessly work until death. So I'll keep wishing and hoping and dreaming and who knows but that one day, one of the wishes might just come true.

"and in other news..."

the weekend was fun, though tiring... Friday was an evening with the relatives where we all got loaded (some of us more than others) and played cards all evening. Saturday was dinner at il Mercato (holy good gravy, what delectable food!) followed by the Parade of Lights downtown (which was really nice, but was made fantastic by the commentary of a few friends and a random stranger that stood beside us) followed by a houseparty that lasted until the sun came up. Sunday was recovery day followed by a trip to see harry Potter, which was OK, but I need to watch it again to make a final decision on if I really liked it or not.

Moral of the story... if you ignore the shittier things that may be happening to you, you realize that the nice things are much more fun and worthwhile of your attention.

drama ensues

the story continues... after waiting a week to find and have a part shipped here for the car, we delivered it this morning and were told they would try to work on it today, but no guarantees... so rather than spend an entire day in the middle of nowhere with a possibility the car would not even get looked at, we drove back to Halifax... later this afternoon, the voicemail arrived saying the part was the right part, but the connectors on it didn't match, thus the part can't be used... I am sadly disgusted with said car and wish nothing more than to watch it burn in flames eternal... and all I've been able to say to myself this entire week has been, "you should have bought a fucking Chev" ... I'm sorely tempted to retrieve the fucker, tear the engine out and have someone custom mount a small block 350 Chev engine in it just for spite... at least I'd know that if the thing died on the highway in the middle of nowhere, I could go to any scrap yard in the maritimes to find parts for the bloody thing... FUCK!

Mobilicorpus!

I need one of these.



If you happen to have on in your closet or sock drawer, please let me know. I would be eternally grateful.

It seems this little piece of plastic and metal, about five inches or so in diameter, is essential in making my car mobile. It's function is to determine when the spark should be sent through to the plug, thus igniting the compressed gas forcing the piston downwards and providing force to make the car mobile. Without it, the car has become an oversized lawn ornament.

The issue being that said piece of plastic and metal, if bought brand new, is around $1400. Add to that the towing charges and the hourly rate to look at, diagnose and repair the car and, well, it ain't gonna happen...

So if you happen to have one of these thingys lying around, let me know. :)

anger

OK, so you're going to be calm. You're mental state is fluctuating by the minute and the neurons seem bent on failing, but hold on. The onset of the encroaching cold spell and the dismal days of half light half dark are dragging you downwards. The futility of pouring your heart into a letter and actually sending it is enough to rub raw every nerve in your bloody being, but that was last week. Challenge ahoy, this week the damn car is trying to engage apoplexy but you can beat it too. Just think about all the fun you could have cheerfully smashing the thing into a million pieces with nothing more than a 5 iron. This will go away, all of it will. And then it will be summer again and it will be alright.

fate

Sara: [Writing down her phone number] I can't believe I'm doing this.
Jonathan: Please let fate take its proper course.
[large truck zooms by, wind knocks number from his hand into a pile of blowing trash on the sidewalk]
Jonathan: That was an accident! Write that down please?
Sara: I can't! That's a sign. Fate's telling us to back off.
Jonathan: If fate didn't want us to be together, then why did we meet tonight? Got you!
Sara: I don't know, it's not an exact science, it's a feeling.
Jonathan: What if you're wrong? Huh? What if it's all in our hands and you just walk away? No names, no phone numbers, what do you think's gonna happen? Do you think good ol' fate is gonna deliver my information to your doorstep?
Sara: You know, that's the best idea you've had all night.
Jonathan: What's the best idea?
Sara: [giving Jonathan a $5 bill] Here you go. Write your name and number down.
Jonathan: On this $5 bill?
Sara: Yeah, just do it.
Jonathan: [writing down his name and phone number] You are a strange and interesting woman.
[gives her the $5 bill]
Jonathan: Now what?
Sara: Wait there.
[crosses the street and buys a roll of mints with the $5 bill]
Jonathan: Hey! What the hell was that?
Sara: Well, if that $5 bill makes its way back into my hands, I'll be able to call you, and when you hear my voice on the other end, then you'll believe in fate, won't you?
Jonathan: Hey! What about me?
Sara: What do you mean?
Jonathan: Well, we have to send something out in the universe with your name, don't we? I mean, that's the only fair thing.
Sara: That *is* the only fair thing. What have I got? Ooh, no, I have a really good idea.
Jonathan: [looking at the band playing] That's a lot of tubas.
Sara: [holds up a book] See this book?
Jonathan: Yeah!
Sara: [opens the book] So, when I get home tonight, I'm gonna write my name and number in this book, and first thing tomorrow morning, I'll sell it to a used bookstore.
Jonathan: Which one? You're not gonna tell me, you're not gonna tell me? Why not?
Sara: Now every time you pass an old book store you're gonna have to go inside to see if it's there!

*****

Dean: Johnathan Trager, prominent television producer for ESPN, died last night from complications of losing his soul mate and his fiancee. He was 35 years old. Soft-spoken and obsessive, Trager never looked the part of a hopeless romantic. But, in the final days of his life, he revealed an unknown side of his psyche. This hidden quasi-Jungian persona surfaced during the Agatha Christie-like pursuit of his long reputed soul mate, a woman whom he only spent a few precious hours with. Sadly, the protracted search ended late Saturday night in complete and utter failure. Yet even in certain defeat, the courageous Trager clung to the belief that life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. Uh-uh. But rather, its a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan. Asked about the loss of his dear friend, Dean Kansky, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author and executive editor of the New York Times, described Johnathan as a changed man in the last days of his life. "Things were clearer for him," Kansky noted. Ultimately Johnathan concluded that if we are to live life in harmony with the universe, we must all possess a powerful faith in what the ancients used to call "fatum", what we crrently refer to as destiny.

*****

Dean: You know the Greeks didn't write obituaries. They only asked one question after a man died: "Did he have passion?".

*****

Davey: So what does all this mean? Fuck if I know, I just like the movie and wish it was a true story. And I wish I was the girl. :-)

heh

I had wished on a star earlier this evening. An old habit that I never intend to break. Then while perusing Despair.com with a friend I saw this and had a good chuckle.

hehehehehe!

I read this in the morning paper and roared. It made my day! :)

'you talkin' to me?'

someone suggested that my Halloween costume was Boy George if he was Amish...

fuck you too ;)

fairest dream, do come true, or get the fuck outta my head

hehe, why be subtle, when you can bash your head against a problem until it collapses in upon itself... that's what I did! my problems seem to have melted away with the tides...

I leave in the morning to spend 5 days visiting at home on CB... a well deserved break from the silliness of my life and a step towards preparing for bloody winter and it's dark, cold months...

the sad part is, I leave a piece of my heart here and when I come back I'm afraid it's going to be gone... peskiness ensues...

the hat made my head uncomfortably warm

I was sober when I did this... sheesh...



well, last week was busy as all fuck and I can honestly say I was moody and not so much fun for a lot of it... I was looking forward to Halloween, but since my costume was a flop, I had to find another one at the last minute... I did, it was very sad but a plastic hat and pink braids hanging next to one another on a shelf made me think of Boy George, so I decided I'd do a mock up... it was bad, but it amused me... I knew alcohol was in my immediate future, so I didn't take it too seriously :)

I ended up at a party in Truro drinking my ass of and then going to a local bar called Chevys and dancing my ass off :) it was a great bunch we went with and it was nice to go somewhere different for a change... Reflections is sorta the same old thing, just with pretty costumes... as much as I like it and feel comfortable hanging out there, it can be ever so slightly repetitive...

my dinner date on monday was fun, the boi is really nice and can cook up a damn fine meal :) we'll probably hang out some more... work this week sucks, I've had scheduled stuff and cancellations left right and centre... I have to pay off the damn car this weekend and I'm going to have just enough money to do it, but with lack of actual hours this week, I may be eating ritz crackers and cardboard next week... blargh... thank fuck it'll be over and paid with and I can get back to my regularly monthly budgeting...

friday is my pulmonary exam and I expect they'll tell me I have minor asthma problems... with the doctor has already figured out, but wants to be sure nothing else is fucked up... with my luck lately, I have a lung filled with elephants casuing me to feel congested and to wheeze a lot, and thus I'll need inter-elephantal surgery to correct it :) go lungs!

I feel weird inside, it's not gone away and I'm tired of feeling weird... and the two people I want to talk to I can't talk to... sigh, my plant has yellow leaves that are falling off, which is how I feel... at least this weekend I can go home and visit and forget all the crap I'm leaving behind here in Haliland... well, at least for a few days :)

intrinsic malevolence

I am very angry with myself... the ridiculousness of some of the things I put myself through... bad enough that I am deluding myself, but it's for something not even worth gaining... a chocolate chip cookie with rocks instead of chocolate chips... it looks great, but it'll end up breaking your teeth, that's what it reminds me of... I haven't been this angry in a long time, and the focus is myself, I'm not sure how to deal with that... grr... hopefully no one will piss me off in the next few days, because my inner bitch is seeking a way out...

part of my halloween costume didn't get here in the mail, so I now have to come up with something new for tomorrow night... I'm so annoyed I don't even feel like bothering... if I'm pissy enough tomorrow, I'll buy a sheet and throw it over myself and go like that... fuck it...

on a nicer note, I have a date on Monday, and I'm having dinner cooked for me by a chef in training... at least this weekend isn't going to be a total loss... grr...

desire, my darkest foe, I will drive you out, I must...

ah so... you seek the perfection, yes?

as I drove to New Glasgow today, I saw a nearly perfect rainbow... the most perfect I have ever experienced... It was small but extraordinarily thick and it was the same all the way trough, hue and tone and brightness... intense I guess I could say... it was over a valley like area where the clouds had gathered in a weather system not far away from me... the best part was that I was driving with the sun shining behind me into the valley area, so it was a shiny, rainbowy and sunlit valley, with mists all around... I could see it for nearly 5 minutes, it was spectacular... it's little things like rainbows that make a days special and make life a treat...

I watched Shakespeare in Love last night before bed, it's in my top 20 favorite movies ever... such a sweet story... always brings a tear to my eye, though I didn't bawl this time... the passion between the two lead characters is so deep and for a sentimental old romantic like myself, I just can't help but sigh and smile... every time I watch the movie I want to go out and meet someone and fall passionately in love knowing full well it's never meant to be and that fate is against us... sigh, I was born in the wrong age...

teh geekz

Crazy gamers talk follows, you've been warned...


Aneikins:
*mutters* he'd better have respecced to Demonic Massage or Advanced fanning...

Praetorius Xar:
hehe totally demonic massage, I was born with the fanning abilities

Aneikins:
ahh racial ability? hmmm does that mean you have extra talent points to go into Honeyed Words 2/2 leading to Poetic tongue 1/1 ?

Praetorius Xar:
why yes, yes I do! heaven only knows what rustic rhymes I could cunningly conjure if my mind did venture in that vernacular direction

Praetorius Xar:
hehe, I'm so ging to cut and paste that
and edit the horrific spelling mistakes... sigh

Aneikins:
well, the meaning came across... ;D

Praetorius Xar:
hehe, I should hope so, it was brilliant!!!

Aneikins:
indeed, for poetic words trip from your tongue, and spill unabashedly in Times New Roman font... ;D
Hold still my heart, he speaks!


After years of backstory, no one could possibly understand it, but it's funny to me.

tread the dawn of delusional intensity

upon the crest of a wave of forgetfulness is found a pinnacle of perfection,
a moment of silence echo'd in the mists of soul ravaging pleasure,
a second of breathlessness mirrored and reflected twofold,
an instant of excitement tinged with illusionary resistance,
a climax and surrender to soul surging surreality,
a figment of fantasy, together take flight
a whisper of eternity found within those eyes
a time, a place, a being, immortal in imagination
carpe diem, carpe diem, amor est vitae essentia

fucking Jimmy Buffet and Frank Zappa... I'll run em both over!!

holy fuck, I got to go play on go-karts at the new Kartbahn facilities last eve... what a blast! three of us went and were grouped with about 6 others, we all went out and tore the track up, hehe! I haven't been on a go-kart in 6 years, so it was a treat :)

later I went to a friends place for some games and booze... me being me, I have a disfunctinal memory... sadly, I remember things like artist names and song titles to a degree worse than anything else... I had a friend that I used to constantly pick information from, she saved my ass on numerous occasions at the bars when we'd play music trivia games and such... anyway the point being, I was engaged in a game of 'Scene It? (Music Edition)' last eve and I knew I was doomed from the get go. It's a fantastic game, but I came to the table with a distinct disadvantage in my memory malfunctions... that and I knew that 3 of the 6 of us were music buffs... hehe, doomed!!! was a good group though and was a really fun game, so I enjoyed it.. that and getting drunk and having our host show off his Sean Cody and misc porn collection, now that's a generous host :)

afterwards we went downtown for a bit, I mixed white russians and beer and felt decidedly ill... one guy I spoke with was talking about dancing and told me I'd never be able to keep up wth him... I can honestly say I've never been so tempted to pour a drink over someone's head... needless to say, that conversation ended at that point...

all in all a fun and entertaining night, but why oh why did it have to rain today? pesky rain.

the clam before the storm

yes, clam. my storm has already blown past... this busy work week cleared up my ridiculous bout of depression and provided a cathartic relief on a few sore points in life... not having enough to do makes me over think things, so last week was a bitch... anyway, I'm no longer ill with tummy problems, no longer lacking work and no longer wound up over men and women... so it's back to mild normalcy in my world, about one fifth of a level in normal normalcy... whatever the fuck...

I did dinner and a movie with ex boi, which allowed me to just be comfortable with him, making things alright on that mental circle... comfortable is the way only way I would describe it, it usually takes longer, but it was a pretty short-lived thing anyway... stupid attachment issues... where it goes from here is his to decide, I am content with whatever happens...

my urges to float in the wind were strong this past month and for once the wind wasn't blowing in a Nova Scotia direction... it was blowing me away for adventures afar... I didn't figure out where and I can't say I really want to find out today, but at least for now I'm still settled... odd that I would get the urge in the fall, it's almost always spring summer and fly in the fall, not the other way around...

the scheme is afoot, and then a second one... the first a ploy to win the hand of some dashing lad, but I find I've stacked the deck against myself... that will be difficult... the other players at the table are holding hands I can't even fathom a guess at, and I'm the only one with chips on the table... but if I win, what a prize it may be... draw, fold or raise... I just don't know and time is failing...

the second ploy is much harder and will require a level of deviousness I haven't had to employ in a few years... how to do it says I... the plot and the theme are written, and the first act is prepared, but it's the finale that will prove my undoing if it fails, I will be utterly spent and left without any way to salvage myself... but it requires another five months to implement, so there will be time to develop a fail-safe, i just can't figure out what it will be...

and so a storm looms on the horizon, figuratively and literally... my own storm seems much more devastating, but if the other big fucker comes up on it's current path, we may get smashed by more wind and rain... I'm so sick of seeing hurricane/earthquake/typhoon/tsunami/tornado shit on TV that I can't even think about it anymore... as long as my house doesn't get blown down, my power and internet aren't knocked out and I can drive to work i don't give a rats ass what the fuck happens to those poor bastards down south... callous, yes... but I've been CCNized into carelessness about natural disasters... good luck to yas, ya poor bastards, but let it hit yas and then keep the fucking thing... I don't want it here...

vanilla ice cream cone anyone?

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rum

an evening downtown, mmm, just what the doctor ordered... a pint of rum followed by some beer at the bar and tequila bought for me by some random cute guy, I was quite wastered... a damn fun time was had, I must say... oddly enough, I have a tendency to try to speak in a Scottish or Irish accent when I'm really smashed... I don't know why, I can't even come close when I'm sober, I can't imagine why I try it when I'm drunk, but I do... so cute guy named Joshua and his friend Katie are at the bar and he buys me a shot and I thank him and Katey in my very best Irish accent... now that I'm sober I realize how silly I sounded, but they chuckled and got a laugh from it so all's good... I bought them both a drink for being such good sports, they seemed to like that... I'm determined that the next time I'm out I'm going to sew a sign on my sleeve that says "YOU CANNOT SPEAK IRISH, SCOTTISH OR ANYTHING REMOTELY CLOSE" just so I'll remember dear Katey... heh...

being sloshed I headed for McDonald's which was slower than usual (it's at a crawl at the best of times...) and I got to listen to a drunkass young kid trying to pick a fight with some other guy in line... his tactic was to call him 'faggot in the pink shirt' until he got him to fight... it didn't work, the other guy wanted nothing to do with him... but he came pretty close to having my friend and I killing him on the spot... I had dreams of driving over the drunkass biotch in my car, I woke up still drunk, but entertained that he was roadkill...

rum. rum. rum. silly boi...

damn brain...

I didn't sleep well last night and I was up early today. So I decided that before I started my evening I'd take a quick nap. I closed my eyes and started to drift off.. seconds later I had a semi-conscious daydream/dream where I was traveling down a highway, looked at a broken down vehicle on the side of the road and looked back as I ran directly into the back of a large red pickup truck at full speed. What a freaking weird experience. I looked at the clock and not even 2 minutes had passed since I had set the alarm. Now I'm completely awake, exhausted and cranky. Bloody whacky brain o' mine...

untitled

I found the stars had dimmed,
their silvery light grown dull and hard.
I found the moon had paled,
its face a faded memory in the past.
I found the night had chilled,
its embrace stealing all inner warmth.
I found the years had failed,
their sweet promise unfulfilled.
Despair and disappointment at another doomed defeat.
Lethargy and loneliness at a legacy of loss.
The finality of it all intrigues.
Fall like a leaf when the wind fails.

I am so in love...

This is her!




The new baby has arrived and I am so loving her. To most poeple it wouldn't be much, the car is 13 years old... but for me it's a marriage made in heaven. A car that runs ok, looks ok and feels ok. My last car was never really all that comfortable, didn't look good at all and ran well enough that everyone was amazed it lasted this long... but it was a bitch. It was the first vehicle I've owned I haven't had sex in. I never even wanted to, it just never felt right for that car. Wierd but true. This one fits like a glove and the first thing I want to do it get it out and work out the kinks... ie. get laid in it. Must christen car. Mmm... raunchy car sex. For that, I suppose I'm going to have to actually find someone worth christening the car with. Crappy bar hookups would do it, but that's like taking a 45 year old hooker to your high school prom; it's a date, but fuck it's a godawful date. Blargh. So now the hunt begins. Elaine interviewed people for "sponge-worthiness", I may just start interviewing for "working-out-the-kinks-worthiness" hehe! Let the games begin! :)

world of fire

no matter how ridiculously silly life may seem to me, and no matter how silly I actually act in life, I appreciate all that I have... I've got a pretty funky life, talents and enough to eat... life's good! people usually look at this as a great weekend to drink and eat turkey and visit people, but it's really all about appreciating what we have, because so many people out there (some very close by) have absolutely shit all... like I said life's good, and I don't take it for granted...

after 2 years of being uninspired, I've bought new strings for the guitar and have plans to buy myself a new Yamaha keyboard sometime after Christmas time... I don't know where it came from, but the desire to play music has crept back into my head... me likey...

the turkey is nearly ready and I'm going to go put on another 3 pounds... happy turkey day canuckia, we're a lucky country...

is it chocolate cake?

Cake And Sodomy
Marilyn Manson

I am the God of fuck! I am the God of fuck!
Virgins sold in quanity, herded by heredity
Red-neck-burn-out-mid-west-mind, ’who said date rape isn’t kind? ’
Porno-nation, evaluation
What’s this ’time for segregation’
Libido, libido fascination, too much oral defacation

White trash get down on your knees, time for cake and sodomy
White trash get down on your knees, time for cake and sodomy

VCR’s and vaseline, TV-fucked by plastic queens
Cash in hand and dick on screen, who said God was ever clean?
Bible-belt ’round anglo-waist, putting sinners in their place
Yeah, right, great if you’re so good, explain the shit stains on your face

White trash get down on your knees, time for cake and sodomy
White trash get down on your knees, time for cake and sodomy

The man just has a way with words. :)

OMFG! LOL!

I can honestly say this really and truly made me laugh out loud. Very out loud.



The website is worth a visit. In all honesty it looks like hilarious fun! If anyone has experienced this, I need a report! It's just too good! :)




I found this in one of those coupon booklets that get dumped in the mailbox or on the doorstep... it was the doorstep today, because I was sitting outside in the sun with the dog when the guy appear and the dog scared the living shit out of him. He dropped the booklet and fled. Hehe! I usually recycle the damn things, but I opened it since I was sitting staring into space. I only noticed this ad because it was below an ad for a sex store. Yay for sex stores making me find funny shit.

yo fucknuts, you are stupid.

I sometimes do stupid things. I occasionally do very stupid things. This time I did something so incredibly stupid I can't even focus on it without my mind reeling. And the best thing about it is I feel great about it. For once I am NOT going to kick myself in the arsehole over doing something stupid, I'm absolutely happy about it.

La de fucking da for that!

I can't decide if I'm lonely or not. It's an odd sensation. I'll settle for "I might just be lonely, but not for sure." That'll make that make sense quite sensibly.

The car seems imminent, I pick it up this weekend. I don't know how I'm going to afford this... fuck me... Anyway, it looks similar to the one below, but in a turquoise colour. Turquoise is my one of my less favored colours, though it's miles ahead of yellow or god-damnable fucking burgundy. Fucking burgundy!



Last but not least, my stylist told me this wasn't really a complimentary style for me, but I think I like it. The bleaching took 4 hours and the extensions another 3. I think I'll stand out at the club.

I feel beter today...

After a week of being wound up and worn out, I feel good. I sent something in the mail to a friend today as part of an apology and as part of "we're ok, I hope we're still friends". I fixed a car issue. I washed clothes. I went to work. Not bad for a new day and a new week.

Typically, I hate Monday's... but today, not so bad at all... but I still need a hug.

men are still useless, but at least there's hope

well, beyond all expectations, I got a reply to my email and I have closure on my issues of being ignored... I do have a complex, I have to admit that... I've been in relationships of all sorts where people have just up and ignored me and/or disappeared completely, so I almost expect it nowadays... slight paranoia perhaps... ok, more than slight, it happens in every relationship... sigh... so clearing the hurdle and becoming friends with someone and moving beyond that takes some effort on my part... anyway, this time, I actually got a reply (first time ever in these damned "I'm ignoring you or I've become invisible" cases) and for the first time, I feel good ad I've gotten closure... still feel crappy in some senses, but I'm a world better... I have hope at least that they aren't all going to do exactly the same thing over and over again... that's a plus :)

bloody closure, I can't figure out why my mind demands it... it's in everything... I watch a movie or a TV show, I must see the end, even if it sucks... otherwise it bugs the hell outta me... same with a book, I have to finish it, or it drives me crazy... same thing with so many things that I do... closure, why is it so integral to my being and when I don't get it why does my mind go into spin cycle? fucking silly neurotic tendencies...

anyway, it's a new day, a new week and at least one issue is laid to rest... 473 million to go... :)

men... as useless as tits on a bull...

I'm a very casual person when it comes to relationships... friends, dates, lovers, fuckers, whatever... I take what's offered and don't demand more... as long as it's fun, as long as I'm enjoying myself, I'm usually fine with it... the unfortunate part is that every so often someone has to be rotten and mess up your mind... I believe the term is 'head games'...

when someone is completely up front about what they want and what to expect from them, and you agree that this is perfectly fine and then you build whatever type of relationship on this supposition... but then they do something completely different, what the fuck... must people be dicks?

anyway, because I internalize things, I need to vent and since I expect the recipient of my tirade below will never get the damn email or will ignore it and toss it in the recycle bin, I'm posting it here so I can feel better that I've said it and that I can remind myself that relationships of any sort aren't always pretty, and that men and woman, as nice as they may seem can be as frustrating and maddening as stepping on a nail...

my rant on email is as below:

I hope you'll at least take a minute to read this.

I was quite happy with the fact that you weren't interested in a relationship and that after a few weeks you'd grow bored with me and move on. You were very up front with that from the moment we met. Living in gay Halifax, this isn't unusual, it's the life we all live...

I was completely unprepared for being ignored without even so much as an "it was fun, now get lost". Of all the things you could have done, ignoring me was the one thing that hurts me the most. I can forgive a lot of things, but I have little tolerance for people that ignore me, it's the height of rudeness... especially when it's from someone I considered a friend. I expected more than that from you, it was very disappointing.

I won't call or email you anymore, I'm not a freaky stalker, I just wanted you to know how hurt I was and that you've upset me by being so callous. (That and I needed to vent and get this off my chest) Unfortunately, we live in a small gay world and I'll probably see you downtown, just don't expect me to smile and wave.

Take care of yourself and watch out for ***, she's fragile,
dc

May the sands of time erase the annoyance and frustration over this brief blurb in my book of life. Out out damn spot!

Forsooth!

"line em up sarge, we've got some boots to polish"

I found out the other day why I would never make it in the military. Rules, regulations and procedures.

For work reasons, I was walking up to the entrance of a naval base from the east. There was an entrance, with a little security building, with a door on the east side, so I walked up to it. Three gentlemen in uniforms, one with a gun on his hip, very quickly stood up, came out and told me I had to go *mumble mumble mumble*. Not having a clue what they were saying, I assumed I had come to the wrong gate and that I was breaking rules and regulations galore and that national security was being threatened... No, that wasn't the case. In between mumbles, one guy pointed west and said "pedestrian walkway". I concluded that I had in fact come to the wrong entrance, this must be for vehicle entry only. Wrong again. After the guy mumbled about the walkway I asked, "Ok, where's that at?" and they all looked at me strangely and pointed west. It was at this point that I realized they were talking about a fenced in walkway that started about 20 yards to the west and came east to the building along the side of the road. As I was wearing my work shirt, logo blazing brightly in the sun, I bit my tongue and walked back up the road, around the main gate, over west to where the little walkway began, entered the walkway and walked back to where I began, but on the west side of the building this time. It was then explained to me that it was for pedestrian safety, that why I couldn't enter the other side of the building. "Fair enough," thought I, "but the overall effect of me walking across the road on the east is the same as me walking across the road on the west. There's no fucking magic shield that will stop a car/truck/tank from hitting me on this side off the fucking building that isn't there on the other side." I was mildly disgruntled at this point.

Then the Commissionaire (yes, at this point I found out two of these guys were just Commissionaires, only one, the gun boy, was actual military...) couldn't contact the guy at the only phone number my contact had given me. I had another contact name, but not another phone number. Having had to call this bloody base on numerous occasions, I know they aren't all idiots and that if you have a name and a general location, they can open the fucking directory and at least tell you if such a person is listed in there. Instead of doing that, the guy kept calling the same number over and over for 15 minutes. At that point I had three options: 1) kill them all and hope the guy with the handgun on his hip was as stupid and slow as he looked 2) let this guy keep calling the same number until he died of old age (I'd guess about an hour later at the most...) or 3) get the fuck out of there and count my losses. I smiled politely (fucking logo on shirt fucking hell crap grrr...) and said "have a nice day" and went the fuck home.

Yeah, I'd last long in the military. My last impulse as I walked away from the gate was to drop my pants, piss on the gate and scream "purple monkey dishwasher!" at the top of my lungs... if that wouldn't blow their minds, nothing would. Fuck them and fuck the gate... If I ever go back there's another gate I'll go to.

mental mortar

Long ago, I built a wall to protect me from harm. A solid wall, from behind which I could look at the world objectively and without passion and see things clearly. Inside that wall I made another to hold all my emotions; love, hate, envy, jealously, happiness, greed, joy, lust, anger... but not fear. I faced down my fears long ago and only two remain, and those two I look in the eye each and every day. And behind this wall I build up all the energy and passion of these emotions into a spinning ball of chaotic wonder. Every so often I allow a little crack to form in the inner wall, sometimes quite willingly, sometimes against my better judgement, but because I have no fear of it, these little cracks happen and some emotion spills out. When I need to patch the cracks, they seem more like gaping chasms and I inevitably have to deal with a maelstrom of emotion that wants out, that wants to force its way through the cracks and break down my wall. And the fight I face, the horrible spinning my mind goes through, totally wears me out while I patch the little cracks. Not so unlike what most people have to face, it isn't a unique thing, but I think it is inevitable that one of these cracks will break my wall down and sever my tenuous grip on what little sanity I've ever possessed. No fear, fearing the inevitable is irrational, it's just morbid curiosity; when it happens, what will happen next.

fuck you world!

since everything in the past 5 days seems to be determined to put me in a bad mood, I looked for something that makes me smile and found these pictures... I stuck them together (very sloppily, I didn't feel like exerting my Photoshop skills today...) so that it shows more of the area... it's pictures I took from my parents front step at home of my favourite thing in the world, sunset over my harbour :) so fuck that rest of everything else that's giving me a bad mood, I'll smile and be happy about this...

moonlit heaven

So far away, so far away, and there is nothing I can do.
The sound of sorrow in your voice runs through my mind in echoes.

The sun and moon and stars go gray, your sadness has veiled my window,
your silvery face with its crystal tears will not let me go.

And so I stay, yes I shall stay, and extend my hand to hold you,
and if you chose to look away, your memory will have to do.

My dearest love, I shall part not without bidding you adieu,
yet love me now or I shall fail and my life shall end with you.


Sigh, I've had something on my mind for two weeks and haven't been able to write anything about it. Sometimes people inspire and confound me at the same time... since I'm melancholy over someone dying and unable to sleep a wink, I find myself ready to write, just not write well... its annoying that I find I can write only when I'm melancholy, that happiness rarely inspires words... sadly, this is the worst poem I've written in god knows how long, but when someone evokes strong passionate emotions in you, I guess the words are what is important, not so much the presentation... bah, I couldn't sell myself that line if I was stoned and stupid and eating rocks... at least I've written something, sometimes you just need to address feelings so that your mind can work them out, otherwise its like a hamster on a wheel of infinite spin... shut up! ok.

:(

And death shall have no dominion.
No more may gulls cry at their ears
Or waves break loud on the seashores;
Where blew a flower may a flower no more
Lift its head to the blows of the rain;
Through they be mad and dead as nails,
Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;
Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,
And death shall have no dominion.

- Dylan Thomas

I found out last night a friend had died of cancer... I knew he was sick and dying, but like always, it never sinks in until someone is gone... he's been an online friend for years, though I was lucky to meet him in person a few times when I lived out west... sadly, I didn't get a chance to really say goodbye, I'm so bad in situations like this, I'm always at a loss for words... he was 45, much too young to be gone, but I guess life and death don't look at age the same way we do, life comes and goes as it will... I'm so sad I've gone quite numb and I don't know if I need a good cry or what... fare thee well Phil, may we meet in a far off forest where elves walk happily day in, day out, watching the stars as the years go peacefully by...

shudder

I'm fairly certain I've shaved at least two years off my life having eaten one of these fuckers...





I admit, I didn't ask what a McGriddle actually was... I thought that it was a sourdough bun, and seeing as I don't really like the english muffin style that McDonalds uses on its McMuffins, I thought this would be a nice alternative... holy fuck, I may as well have asked for a bag of sugar... sadly, the fucking thing didn't really taste all that bad... this is on the McDonalds food rating scale... ie. it would get a 7 out of 10 McRating from me, in comparison to the rest of their menu, however, in real world food ratings, I'd still give it a 1 or a 2... (poison by any other name...)

So Friday I had to do training in Mabou at 11 am, so I was up at 5:30am and on the road by 7am... I wasn't hungry at the time I set out, but by the time I got to Antigonish I could have eaten my car door... so I went in and had a McGriddles... even the fucking name should have set off alarms in my head, but I'll attribute it to the fact I was overtired and ravenous... it made me feel ever so slightly ill... later that day after the ill effects had worn off I was ravenous again and decided to get a burger, I had been craving a burger for about three days... sigh... I had a Dairy Queen Bacon Double Cheeseburger... holy fuck, more poison... I was ill for the rest of the day...

Moral of the story: If you eat poison, you'll probably feel ill.

Fucking fast food bastards.

USB Rye in yer eye!

as the certified computer nerd of the family, when computers act up, the folks give me a call... I appreciate this, as it gives me a chance to visit the relatives, and I like tinkering so it's fun... I showed up to fix my uncle's printer last night and lo and behold, my 83 year old great uncle is there for the evening... he's returning to Toronto after a three week visit to CB... man that guy can drink, there was a 40 of Crown Royal on the table when I arrived and between 3 of us, we polished it off by the time I was heading back to the city... and it certainly wasn't me that polished most of it off... that said (credit given where credit is due, IMHO...), the guy is so funny he had me in stitches all night... it really makes me appreciate how good some members of my family are, and how lucky I am... for all the foibles our crazy clan may have, down deep just about everyone is genuinely kind and compassionate and shitloads of fun... the other part of the story is that my family tends to eat big, and I've strayed away from that tendency... I went for seconds last night, meaning I had one extra forkfull of salmon and an extra baby potatoe... after I was bullied back to the pots and pans, I ended up with a plateful again... while it really was delicious, I thought I was going to explode and I barely had enough room for a piece of lemon pie, which hell itself couldn't have kept me from having (it is pie after all!) and the inevitable conclusion was that I felt ill for the rest of the night from overeating... so I am making a note to myself right here to remember to not go for seconds when visiting relatives, even if it's tasty, because I'll suffer the consequences... unless it's steak, steak I can do... but not foie gras, that's just wrong...

"ow, people aren't made to bend like that"

well, I thought Emily Rose was an interesting movie, I enjoyed it more than I assumed I would... I had hoped it would be more of a suspense/thriller type and not a classic horror (re: hack and slash) movie, and this proved to be the case... it gave me chills at several points, that's what I enjoy from a good creepy movie (vs. seeing someone hacked into bits by a cackling madman...)

more to the point, I truly enjoyed the movie because it made me think... the presentation was rather one sided for most of the movie, as we really see only one perspective in detail (re: those that posit demonic possession as truth), but the other side is not left out entirely... I appreciated that... I assumed that I would be presented with "here's the demonically possessed girl, she's possessed, therefore you must accept the fact that the story we are presenting validates demonic possession and it's based on a true story so therefore it is fact"... but, I think they made an effort to tell the story and still give people enough detail that they can make up their own minds as to what happened... regardless of what they say, it's still fiction, no matter what events it may be based on, so fun story, but I digress...

it made me think. I like movies that make me think and make me question things... after sleeping on it, I can't say my views have changed any on this existence, but I certainly had thoughts and questions pounding the insides of my mind last night... disregarding any of the other god and devil and religious and scientific arguments in the movie, do demons exist or not? well, I have never really decided for myself, but I don't discount them from my outlook on reality...

my parents witnessed an exorcism of a family friend when I was a young lad... she had been given a book on Automatic Writing, where you basically open yourself up using methods of spiritual or mental exercises, to whatever is out there and let your hand have its own free will... (at least I think, I've never read much about it) anyway, so she tried this, and it worked for her, except after so long she couldn't get it to stop, and it would write things even when she was consciously trying not to... so she had friends and family involved in the church and two close friends who happened to be priests... anyway, not knowing any of the fine details myself, the story I was told goes, she was taken with the two priests and my parents to an exorcist who performed and exorcism and got whatever was controlling her hand the fuck outta her... so, me being me, I had to ask, "wasn't she just doing this herself? that's silly isn't it?" and my father who basically refused to talk about any details told me two things... the first was that it was the most frightening thing he had ever experienced (he was a rural RCMP officer for a while and had seen some nasty shit happen to people) and secondly that some of the things she had written were just like out of a horror movie... weird languages and things she should not have known, which were verified by linguists and other "officials" before they would consider the exorcism... so that's all I know about it really, the rest is conjured up in my mind... but, having not witnessed it myself, I have to say I believe the old man believes what he saw is real, and I give that some credence... also, I know the lady well, and she doesn't fit the profile of either a "nut" or a "pathological liar", so while I am not fully convinced, I give that story due merit based on those involved and my evaluation of their character...

basically, if all things are possible, though not probable, there is a possibility that demons exist, however improbable, and given that possibility, I don't discount them from my realization of this existence...

that said, I have no fear of them, that would be irrational...

nuff said...

WTF mate?

I found these while I was cleaning up old shit from my previous job... the boss brought them to work to show us one day, and a customer came in the door just as they were handed to me, thus they followed me home :) They amused me, thus I decided to scan and share.

I guess the story goes, some guy he randomly met at a bar (I assume his name was Juan, as that's the referee name on the cards... heh) regaled him with a story and handed him these... I don't even know if there was any other reason than to get frequent pimping points with the company... but oddly enough, they were in Montreal when they met... I guess people randomly travel to LA, but geez, these aren't exactly travel brochures ;)

Moral of the story: if you're going to post ridiculously silly XXX cards on the internet, at least have a reason for doing so.

"If The Women Don't Find You Handsome, They Should At Least Find You Handy"

not quite accurate, but close enough...

Living with a handyman has the drawback of not having to do any handyman work yourself... on the other hand, dating someone who has roommates that are not handymanishly inclined, gives room for one to be a little handy...

Yesterday, I shopped in the hardware section, gave some advice on small projects, installed two blinds, and finally changed a light switch and power outlet (both with the power still on, causing the other folks minor agitation over my health) and felt like a faggy version of Red Green, minus the suspenders and duct tape...

While I can't say they found me handsome, I am content with the fact I was considered passably cute and moderately butch...

In other news, my poor rotting-into-rust car is two steps closer to being replaced... a few friendly folks from home have a '92 Eagle Talon for sale (in near mint condition I might add...) that I may just be able to afford... owner is a mechanic and has kept the car in immaculate condition... my brother loved it and his only comment was, "You'll have to take off that sticker if you buy it." Just ahead of the gear shift is a big sparkly pinkish sticker that says, "BAD GIRL"... I didn't have the heart to tell him that was one of my favorite features ;)

Now if I can save the rest of the money I need, it may just work out... otherwise, it'll be the first half-decent automobile I happen to find before winter rears its ugly head...

They call him "flipper"

Actually, "slipper" would be much more appropriate... and not the thing you slide your foot into.

My roommate took me fishing on his boat today. It was a beautiful day for fishing, a tad windy and wavey, but just nice to be outside on the ocean. Being a boi that grew up on the ocean, I'm rather keen on walking around on the shore and unlike silly landlubbers, I'm quite steady on my feet. However, I spent the last few nights with someone and I'm suffering from lack of sleep... add to that I was wearing the loosest pair of flip flops ever and it was a recipe for me slipping and falling on my ass, which I did. Normally, I wouldn't be dumb enough to walk on this particular type of seaweed (especially with flip flops on) because it's as slimy as year-old jello... but it was 9:30 in the morning and I was still in stupid mode... Luckily for me, it was mostly only my pride that was hurt, though I scraped up my arm enough that it looks raw and stings to touch. The funny part was that I could see the look on my roommate's face, which was basically, "I'm concerned that you may have hurt yourself, but what the fuck were you thinking, dumbass." Hehe.

Enough of describing my stupidity. The real point to the post was that we saw dolphins... lots and lots of dolphins! We were headed back to land and passed through a large school of dolphins, they were playing all around us. Close enough that we could have touched them.. if our arms were 8 feet long. But anyway, it was a really nice experience to see them and be included in their playful romp along the coastline. Absolutely beautiful dolphins. My dreams should be fun tonight... well, if I'm allowed to get any sleep.

mmm, eyes... "Yar! And who be you?"

I met someone last night with stunningly beautiful eyes, I'm a very very lucky boi.

"what if we get stuck?"

Not the most beautiful picture in the world, but it's the bottom end of a culvert that's dear to my heart. A tiny little brook flows past my childhood home and I have countless fond memories of it. This culvert allows the brook to pass below the highway and spill into the ocean about 50 feet beyond this picture. As adventurous children, it took my brother, my friends and myself several years (and a lot of courage) to finally walk all the way from the other end through the darkness to this end. It was very creepy inside, with strange echoes, squishy surfaces and odd oily smells. Sweet memories.

I'll be what I will be

while very hectic, the past week has been quite enjoyable; Thursday I had the best group of people I've ever trained, I wanted to hug them all and tell them I loved them, but I figured that would be an easy way to get myself canned. later that day I had another great group, not as good as the morning crew, but comical in a "it's bloody hot and humid and we're all tired and want to leave for the long weekend" kind of way... one lady teased me the entire session, but I just laughed and plodded along. I arrived in CB Thursday night and spent some time relaxing with the folks. Friday night was a visit with a great uncle and great aunts, the great uncle had just arrived from Ontario for his first visit in 15 years; a few drinks and a lot of singing later, the evening ended for most of them; I got back to the house and watched movies all night; saturday was an evening out with friends, one of whom was housesitting for a Doctor and Doctor couple; a miniature mansion to be exact; we watched movies in their theatre ten played ping pong and pool in the games room; yeesh... Sunday was a party out on the Mira that went into the wee hours of the night, singing around a bonfire; Monday back out for an evening at the movies; Skeleton Key was entertaining, but didn't startle me even once; boo-urns. And now I'm back in halifax and back to work. Blargh.

So summer is coming to its inevitable close and as I left the Island today I felt the old familiar tug to home, even though I was just there. Recently I looked over my history of moves and tumultuous upheavals and the tendency is always to get into a rut in spring and ship off in late summer - early fall. For once, I am comfortable with the fact that whatever mental dance I go through, I'm happily anchored where I am with this job and I have no worried about losing focus. As much as I can ever say that, its like balancing jello on a toothpick... c'est la vie.

cockroaches

the figurative kind... some days it would be so nice to grab the cockroach and step on its neck until its squished and dead as a doornail... alas the world frowns upon such a thing... but one can dream...

on another topic, some ass made a comment about my parking a few days ago... he was trying to fit his abnormally long SUV into a spot behind my car that was about 4 feet too short, thus he commented on my parking abilities... the odd thing was, that of all the times I have parked badly, fully knowing my parking was bad and I didn't give a shit, this guy complained on a day when my car was so perfectly parked I could have taken a picture and used it in a "Guide to Good Parking" manual... my car was inches away from the curb (equidistant from the curb at both ends, I might add!) and lined up perfectly with the meter... I looked at my car, looked at him, gave him my most "I think you're out of your mind dude" look and got in the car and went on my merry way...

the sad thing is that I should have said something to him, because after I thought about it, he probably thinks he was in the right and that I parked incorrectly, but the truth of the matter is, the car ahead of me was parked wrong, it was about 2 feet ahead of its meter, leaving a huge gap in front of my car, making it look like I hadn't parked correctly...

the moral of the story is, even though I'm not a confrontational person, I should have made a point correct his impression, because next time, he'll still be thinking he's right and he'll smartmouth the wrong person and end up with a knife in his chest or something...

of course, as a person that has faith in karma, perhaps he'll just be getting what he deserves...

janitorial services

I suppose maintenance is the real word. I finally stopped being lazy and made a few technical adjustments to the blog portion of the site. The entire page layout is still piecemeal and patchwork, but at least I'm semi-happy with it. I added an RSS feed, which shows up in Safari automatically or can be accessed on the left hand menu. I fixed several links for images, that I had lazily ignored for a long time. I started working on a photo blog template, which I then got disgusted with and put on the back burner. Between paperwork for the office, ClanLord development, insanely hot weather and being away from home for two weeks, my plate is so full it's spilling on the floor. Ah well, it's good to have stuff to do when gaming and drinking gets tedious. *smile*

love

Oh, dear. She’s stuck in an infinite loop and he’s an idiot. Well, that’s love for you.
- Professor Farnsworth, Futurama

That's my love experience in a nutshell. Except I'm looped and an idiot. :)

thank my lucky stars

Look at this, just look at it. Woosh!

Cillian Murphy


I saw him in Batman Begins, remembered him from 28 Days Later and now he's in a new movie, Red Eye. What a beautiful boy. If I had my birthday wish, he's pop out of the cake (sans clothing).

Sigh, I'm all aflutter.

Join the political party of the future: the BFG!

Enroll today in Canada's future, the BFG! Bigots For God promises to return this country to its Christian roots, the nitty gritty that made this country great! Pull up those grass roots and plant them firmly in the gaping maw of the infidel!

Well, well, well... I wrote a lovely sarcastic and satirical paragraph on what I thought would be a nice mock platform for my imaginary party. I reread it and decided it was a bit too nasty, even for an imaginary party, so I deleted it. What popped into my head was, "Yeesh, this lot really does get under my skin."

The lot I'm referring to is the CHP (Christian Heritage Party) who inspired my diatribe that has since been deleted. But I see a sign every so often for their party and I get annoyed... every Christian religion I am familiar with has in its primary tenets, Jesus taught that love was the most important thing... love god, love your neighbor, love yourself. Does it really have to be more difficult than that? Is it really that important to take, letter for letter, word for word, a document that has been around for thousands of years, translated and re-translated, re-edited and re-written by hundreds and hundreds of people, and wave it in the face of everyone that doesn't follow the same paragraph and subset of words that you do? Blargh.

I was raised Christian, I'm a baptized and confirmed Catholic that goes to church on a semi-regular basis and I believe in an undefinable and incomprehensible greater power in the universe that on some days I refer to as God. I'm quite happy with the idea that Jesus walked on the earth, was a pretty cool guy and told people that they can be better than they are and that love is a good thing. I'm also a fag, an evolutionist, an inter-religious believer, a believer that both plants and animals are just as important as humans (if not more) and I'm convinced I'm immortal. A slightly paradoxical situation, but not enough to hang myself over. Or, more importantly, hang someone else.

Each and every day I run into people whose views differ from mine... some of them even piss me off enough to write stuff down. But at the end of the day I don't hate them, I don't tell them they are wrong and that I am right, I don't go out of my way to plan on how I should change the world so that it fits my vision to the exclusion of anyone's that disagrees with me...

The funny thing about the ideology of the CHP is that our country's population is constantly growing. And it's not growing with Christians, it's growing with faiths and religions from other countries. The true basis and backbone of our country is its multi-culturalism; it's what makes us special, it's what makes us strong. One hundred years ago when the first roads were cut through the forests joining the huge land mass we call Canada with trains and wagons and automobiles, there was a bigger Christian population. Not so anymore, so trying to say Christian ideology is the way to go when your audience is a mish mash of many religions and differing ways of thought is ludicrous.

Fundamentalists. They are a pet peeve. It seems like I'm picking on Christian fundamentalists, and they do seem to shine in Canada, but fundamentalists can come in any shape, colour or flavour... there are queer fundamentalists, science fundamentalists, cooking fundamentalists... etc etc etc... the term fundamentalist is traditionally used for the crazy radical religious groups, but fuck that! There's lots of other fundamentalist groups that should get the same crazy radical stigma stamped on them too. And they all get under my skin.

Live and let live, people. Intolerance is injustice.

My last thought is that we tolerant people should round up all the fundamentalists in the world and ship them to Moon Base Alpha, where they can happily fundamentalize each other into oblivion and leave the rest of us in peace. The sad part is, it would never happen, because the tolerant people generally leave the others alone. :)