W

heh, just because it's funny 8-)

http://www.youforgotpoland.com/

intrigued

I met someone new today, nice, sexy, interesting... it's the first time I've been interested in someone at a level more than just 'You're kindof hot/atractive" in quite a while. Something new to think about.

damnit...

It's not happening fast enough. A week ago Blizzard said information about the open beta of World of Warcraft would be coming soon... but soon is relative and I consider soon to be within a day or so... unless they go by Clan Lord standards, which means we'll get information by sometime in early 2007. Fuck. The slight taste I got from playing the stress test left me drooling for more and I've been glued to their website for weeks since it ended. And one of my coworkers traded all his other accounts for a closed beta account on saturday. So now the luck little fucker gets to play it and tell us all about it... while the rest of us drool harder and faster and wait for our turn... le sigh... I can't wait any longer!! ARRRRRRGH! Open the damn beta before I go shack whacky!!!!

Seriously though, all in all the game looks and is great, I'm so excited I could nearly cry. On top of that, I put an Athlon 2600+ and a new ASUS board in my system last weekend, so it's going to rock the Casbah. WoW flew on the 2200+, I can't wait to take it for a spin on the new processor. Wheeee!!!

entombed

You and I could die in our sleep this very night. It happens... human life is sometimes extinguished by a force unknown and unseen, the life just ends, ceases to be, dead in one's sleep. So if you knew that this was your fate, that the outcome of falling asleep tonight was never waking up, would you be happy with your life? Did you make the most of the time you had? Have you realized a dream? Have you accomplished a goal? Have you stood up to your fears? Have you ... lived? But what if it was not tonight that you expire, but two nights from now. If you ask the same questions, does the answer change? Would you want to make a difference? And if you did, can one extra day of living give you enough time to make a difference? But what if it was not tonight, or two nights from now, but a full week. Do your answers change? Instead of the week a full month, or a full year, or even 50 years. Given 50 years, you can do so many things that there is no real urgency, no need to rush or hurry to do anything. But you and I don't have 50 years, we don't even know if we will have tomorrow. So do you live like every day may be your last or do you live like you have all the time in the world, because we both know that you do not.

sand castles

I spent the morning rummaging through some of my old stuff that had been shoved in the back of a closet. I came across a small vial of sand tied with a little bow. It was a gift given to me by a girlfriend years ago. It was sand from a place down by the ocean, the first place we made love. That night we had said 'I love you' to each other for the first time. When I met her, I had already had sex with various boys and girls, but that night was the first time I had ever really made love with someone. It was the first time I realized there really was a difference. I smile thinking back to that night, it's still very clear in my mind, it was a really great night. It was a really great experience. It's been years, she's doing well, I'm doing well... but since we parted ways I have not felt feelings like that for anyone I've encountered, or even come close. I wonder if I'll ever fall in love again. For the first time in my life I felt old. It was a fleeting feeling and went away quickly, but I recognized it, I know what it was... I wonder if I'll ever fall in love like that again before my time runs out. Whether I do or don't, I was lucky to have experienced it once, some people never get to... so I'm happy that my life experiences include faling in love and making love. I'll keep trying to build sand castles and as for the little vial, it will get packed away again so that some day down the road I can find it and smile about my memories.

90

In the ten years mom has operated her business taking care of senior citizens, I have seen quite a few different forms of dimensia and senility. Today has been the saddest case I have seen. Swift deterioration of memory, like alzheimers, and the confusion that comes with it sets in during sleep. All day you can have reasonably sane conversations with her, but when she wakes up, everything about where she is and why she is there is gone. Tonight she woke up at midnight and was frantic that she was alone (though I was standing there talking to her), that her family had abandoned her (she meant her parents, who have been dead for years), that she was only a little girl and was being punished (the pictures of her parents on her dresser made this worse) and that no one would be there in the morning (I was trying to explain that she's lived here for some time and that other ladies sleep in the next two rooms and would be up having breakfast with her in the morning just like every morning). Twenty five minutes of chatting later she thought she'd try sleeping, but I'm not sure how well that will work. Anything I told her was forgotten within seconds, so if she happens to wake again she won't know who I am and that we had just talked.

As much as I'd like to live forever, if this was what I was facing, I'd rather die quick and painless at a nice young age.

maturity?

perspective. a few days ago my car insurance ran out and I'm trying to figure out what to do about it. not driving my car would be one option, but it's not a very fun option. I haven't had to regularly bus since I was out west. the odd thing is that 5 years ago I wouldn't have cared one way or the other whether I had insurance or not. I still sort-of don't, but the fact I'm actually thinking about it has me flustered... but anyway, perspective. I drove out of the grocery store parking lot and through an intersection. someone drove out and took a turn directly in front of me and nearly drove into my car. luckily they saw me in time and stopped. some people, myself included, would be rather upset with that person, as I could clearly see the person looking over their shoulder into the back seat of their car while they took the turn. luckily there was a passenger that told them not to drive into me. i was not upset with the person, I was happy they stopped and didn't smash into me, because I had no insurance and I would have been fucked sideways like a two dollar hooker on the tilt-a-whirl. so no anger just plain relief. it's all perspective. it made me think how silly it is to get upset about something as silly as driving mistakes. everyone makes em, everyone hates em, but they are a fact of life on the road. I rarely get upset with other drivers, I'm too mellow for such silliness, but even I have my limits... but after today, I think my limit has been raised a lot higher. I'm too young and too happy to stress over simple mistakes. I still don't know what will happen with my insurance, it's so damn expensive. but whatever, the worst that could happen is I'd get in trouble, and I do that with or without insurance.

sense and sensibility

I wrote a letter to my love,
and on the way I dropped it,
Little doggie picked it up
and put it in his pocket.
Now it's time to close your eyes,
close your eyes, close your eyes,
Now it's time to close your eyes,
now look, what is behind you?

Some things don't really mean anything, or have no purpose... they just are.
These are the beautiful things.

You're what?

I just remembered it's october the first. I have a friend flying home to visit around halloween so I decided I'd get a few friends together and do the dress up and go out and get hooped thing. It's been a thing for me since I was a kid to get costumes that people just don't expect. I've had some really wild ones, ranging from a vampire made from Malificent's cloak (Disney's Sleeping beauty, a must see), to an old bag lady to a flamboyant french maid avec goatee and fishnets. Oh, and double D inflatable boobies, I forgot to mention those, that french maid was a masterpiece. Anyway, I was at a loss this year and eBay saved me. I was shopping for something or other and I stumbled upon a Supergirl costume and instantly fell in love. So I'll be gracing the local bars with my rendition of Krypton's finest femme and the only conundrum I face is whether to wax or shave my lovely legs, cuz that skirt don't leave much to the imagination.

stay afloat or sink, what does a rock do?

After a month of coughing I'm finally getting over my chest cold. What a rough ride that was. I look forward to next weekend when I visit home and take a 4 day vacation. A change for the better methinks. The weather has stayed warm helping me recover and I've slept well lately, due to busy work days and relaxing nights. If I won the lottery I'd travel the world and see all the places to go on my list. I had sushi and spring rolls for dinner this evening and I'm going to make spicy chicken wings for tomorrow. Saturday evening is movies at a friends house and a few beers. Sunday is recuperate and watch some Nascar and golf, depending on which makes me veg-out more. It's back to work Monday for the 5 day countdown to Saturday when I start vacation with a Jack and Jill wedding party and a relaxing drive across the province. Life's pretty damn good and the warm autumn nights are making me smile.