I need, oh la la la...

Monday night and it's guys night. We decided movies rather than games. I drank a quart of Bailey's... I think I'm going to regret this tomorrow...

mano del diablo

A while back I had an odd dream. I was sleeping with someone at their place, I think for the first time. Anyway, the dream goes a little something like this...

I wake up in the dark staring at the ceiling. The owner of the bed was asleep, but had my left hand held tightly in his right hand. After a few seconds, he says in a very clear voice while still sleeping, "The devil is in the centre of the room." It's still completely dark and I can't see anything at all in the room so this shocks me rather badly. It's at this point that I realize my right hand is hanging over the edge of the bed and something is holding it tightly and won't let me lift it up. I strain and pull but my hand won't budge. All of a sudden it comes free, my hand flies up onto the bed... and right at this point I wake up from the dream.

Needless to say, when I woke up in the same room, same bed, and next to the same person (who was happily snoring softly to themselves), I was rather disturbed. Luckily the room was a bit brighter and I could see everything clearly. Now I don't subscribe to the concept of a traditional devil, the Lucifer of biblical stories or any of his counterparts in other religions... but I don't discount the possibility that such a being/force/intelligence could exist. My philosophical stance on existence is that anything, however improbable, is still possible and thus in some counter reality or parallel existence, all possibilities will be explored and each facet of what we look at in our own reality will be explored and find itself expressed.

Anyway, the point is that I don't discount that a devil of some sort could exist, I just don't think of it in traditional terms. So the feeling I had upon waking in that room wasn't the most fun ever. What a mind fuck :)

So I eventually fell asleep again, but it was a fitful sleep to be sure.

"That's my car? Holy fuck, YEAH!"

As a result of the loss of my car, for any out-of-town training sessions I am permitted to rent a vehicle which my employer will reimburse me for. So Thursday was training scheduled for Amherst. So I called and asked for a car and the corporate discount. Great, says they, we have one for you and we have your discount. Perfect, says I, can you come get me? Yes, says they, we'll be right there. So I show up at the place and they hand me the keys to one of these:





A 2006 Jeep Liberty, the same as in the picture. It was brand new, it had around 1200km on it total. I nearly orgasmed when I got in it. I was expecting a little car, maybe even a nicer sedan, but when I saw this I thought to myself, "Oh yeah, this is gonna be a fun trip."

And it was. We had been forecast a blizzard that didn't hit the mainland, so the most snow I saw was a few flurries and what hadn't melted on the road from the night before. It was a nice trip set on cruise and I cranked the tune-age way up. The stereo was great (not as good as the one in the car, but it's a factory deck and speakers) so I sang my way back and forth to Amherst.

The great thing was, I was home by 4:30 and I had the car until 10am the next day! WHEEEEE! So off I went, I took two friends shopping and enjoyed the fact that it was freezing outside and I didn't have to bus it.

My adventurous side kicked in. I found a pair of tightass jeans that were size 32 and I liked the style. So I tried them on and they fit. They were super snug, but I actually fit in them. So with a grin splitting my face, I bought them for later that evening.

The plan was dinner with the boi, a movie and then Reflections for Lulu. So I went home, got showered and dressed myself up. Since I was in an adventurous mood, I decided that underwear would be uncomfortable in such tight jeans, so I went commando. It was fun to go all over town and then out to the bar, I haven't done commando in a long, long time. I did find the breeze a bit chilly on the bum, the wind chill was -15 or lower last night. But it just spiced up the evening a bit more.

All in all, a wonderful Jeepy Commando day.

I was sad to return it this morning, but all good things must come to an end. I thought about that as I stood on lower water St. freezing while the bus took it's merry old time coming to pick me up after work. C'est la vie! I have another out-of-towner next Thursday, so I may just rinse and repeat! :)

you need what...?

Here's a customer quote from a message I received on my voicemail:

"Hi there Dave! We have a brand new spanking machine and we need training."

I was speechless.

And a little bit flattered, but still speechless.

So here's a spanking machine pic.



And since we're talking spanking (and Google offered this as an option... go figure), here's one with the caption "Elephant Spanking" ... ?



And since we're talking elephants, here's the funniest thing in the universe. Elephant sex!



And this is from the Elephant Sex blooper reel. Oops!



And one last one, that I gave my own caption:

"Well Carl, she sure as hell knows now!"



Google can be a dangerous thing in the hands of an overtired, slightly tipsy boi. ;)

ROWR!

This is a picture of Fyn, my Night Elf from Word of Warcraft. He's a Shadow Priest, which is basically a healer type character that comes with a badass attitude. :) Sortof like me! Muhuhahaha!

I just found this picture I took a while ago. He's mounted on his Night Saber, which mid-range level characters ride to run faster than the n00bs. Fyn looks funky! My favorite character to play, though I haven't had time to play him much lately.

STRIKE THREE MUTHA FUCKA! YOU OUTTA HERE!

My beautiful car, that has become less and less beautiful the longer I have known it, has finally dug itself a grave from which it cannot be resurrected. The fucker is dead, let's throw an Irish wake. (which includes, booze, partying and celebrating the person... well, skip the celebrating the person, in this case I'll celebrate the fact it's fucking dead) The timing chain snapped last night while I was on the way to the bar with a friend. With this type of engine, when the timing belt snaps, it usually wrecks the internal components of the engine, making it pretty much useless. The service guy that looked at it today said he could put some guys on it and in order to just find out how much damage has been caused, it would be about 6 hours labour to strip it down. Well fuck, I don't want to spent $400 to be told it's pretty much fucked. I told him my understanding was if the chain broke a rebuild was pretty much the only option and he agreed. Yeah, not gonna happen. I don't have dollars dripping outta my pockets to do that kind of work. Blargh.

Now people think I'm absolutely nuts, but I'm going to look at my options for taking that fucking crap engine outta there and putting in a cheapy Chrysler 2.0 or something that's North American made. Parts for shitty engines like that are a dime a dozen here, unlike everything for this current goat-blowing, son-of-a-bitch... which requires me selling body parts. But that will be in the fall, I need to go buy some shitheap that's inspected until at least the summer to get me by until something better can be bought. More than anything, I wish I still had my little Cavalier. As bad as it was in winter, at least it loved me most of the time. It's in a junk yard rotting now, I feel worse for it than I do for my Talon.

So out in the cold last night, my friend and I walked to the bar and then back to the car when the tow truck arrived and then back to his place. Well, sortof lies, we cabbed it, but we had to walk to the cabs in the cold. Fucking coldass weather. January has been beautiful, I should have expected that when it finally got cold the car would screw with me. ;) Silly me.

Aside from the death of the car, it was an entertaining day. I spent the afternoon with a boy I've been dating recently as he and two friends prepared for a drag show they were in. Talk about excitement, the WWE doesn't have this kind of excitement. So I was there for about three hours with them, then went for dinner with a friend. We had some beers and foods at Maxwell's, went and watched Willow at his place then went to see the boi (or grrl at this point) do her drag show. It was funny for the most part, we enjoyed it. Off the wall comedy :) Anyway, the boi (grrl) looks pretty as a woman, but I think he's dead shexy as a guy, so I'm pretty lucky. The weird thing is I had met him months ago at a friends place and I guess we both thought the other was sexy and interesting, but nothing really happened until about two weeks ago when we started talking out of the blue. What a weird world...

So tomorrow will begin the umpteenth shopping for shitheaps extravaganza in my life and I expect that I may have to settle for the ugliest pile of crap that runs and is inspected that I can find. Hmm, just like old times. :)

And the truth shall set you free

Harper is a dickhead.

Here's a fun link to some music inspired by Mr. Harper (done by a friend of a friend) and a few links to some Harper stuff. Click on the Harper & Sponge Bob link if nothing else. Hehe!

http://harpersbizzarre.johndoepro.com/artists/puffnj/harp/harpbiz.html

"Hit me in the melon, baby!"

How can one love a fruit so much?

I have always loved the flavor of watermelon. I have always hated the fact that if you buy a watermelon, even half, it's a royal bitch to store in the fridge. And you have to cut slices, making a mess, and it spoils rather quickly. very uncouth is that fruit.

However, as of late, grocery stores have taken to cutting up watermelon into cubes (or shapes closely resembling cubes) and selling it in dishes. Well, I tell you, I'm as happy as a pig in shit. I can buy myself a nice bowl of prepared watermelon and enjoy it as a snack, a desert or even as a meal if I'm in a hurry. It's like a whole new world has been opened for me.

I enjoy most fruits, but I eat them sporadically and get tired of them quickly. A bag of apples or oranges would be wasted on me. But this... THIS makes me happy :) I just cooked a steak for myself and did a lovely melange of potato, onion and mushroom with a bit of alfredo sauce for a side. That and a bun for dinner and then a bowl of watermelon for dessert. I'm as happy as day!

When I lived in Fort St. John, BC I was a 5 minutes walk away from the mall. It was itty-bitty for a mall, BUT it had an ice cream stand. And they did soft serve in 50+ flavours, one of which was WATERMELON! I tell you, I'd walk down to the mall some days just for a watermelon ice cream. It instantly became my favorite treat. sadly, the end of my Fort St. John adventure brought an end to enjoying my treat. I went back a year later for a wedding and the shop had closed. Thus, I am always on the lookout for new ice cream shops hoping against hope that I may walk in and find 'watermelon' listed on the flavours board. The day will come.

And so I send you out into the world with one mission and one mission only. Find the oasis of watermelon flavoured ice cream and return to me with its location. This I charge you with. This I command. Fail me not.

oooohhhh... is it wrong? is it? but they all look so hot...

4 am, work in a few hours, unable to sleep, wake up, putter about trying to think of something to make me sleepy, read blogs, find interesting stuff, see neat article about 80s influenced bands, look at one new band, want to make sex with whole band after watching their 'Make Up Sex' video, decide this isn't making me any sleepier, write own blog entry...

To make me go to bed and try to get some sleep, turn to page 104.
To make me watch and read more about the neat new band, turn to page 73.
To make me have wild erotic dreams, turn to page 69.

Choose your own adventure.

(Just don't get me arrested!)

The sword the angel held said but four words: Truth. Wisdom. Compassion. Love.

This will be your final warning...

I like to think I am a very good natured person.

From time to time, someone pisses me off enough that I find some way to revenge myself upon them, sometimes without their knowledge of my vengeance. That usually makes it even sweeter. I have a PhD. in not getting caught and I'm not afraid to use it.

Thus, this is the final warning to those who may think about pissing me off this year.

If you piss me off, I will post more pictures like the one below.

Nuff said.




It seems Ms. Piggy is part of a much grander website and there's lots of pics of her and others. Dear gods, I'm conflicted on whether I should laugh or cry or just pluck out my eyes.

could it be? is it even possible?

I may have movied myself out this week... I've been to the theatre 5 times in the past 6 days... I don't think I can do anymore, I may actually need a break :) That's a first, even when LOTR ROTK came out I saw that one 7 times in theatre, but I spaced them out a bit more. Since early-December I've been to the movies 15 times... yeesh! And I know my friends and family know me well, I got $120 in movie Empire Theatres movie money this year as gifts, and I've used it all up. Go me!

So movie #1 today, I went to see Brokeback Mountain for the third time. It really is a great movie. I went with a friend on opening night, Dec 23rd, and we expected it to be packed. It was not, there was maybe 50 people at the Oxford. I went again earlier this week to the Oxford again, with two friends who hadn't seen it. A little larger crowd, but still not lots of people. Today, it was playing out at Bayer's Lake, and the theatre was packed. I was shocked and really happy to see this, it really deserves a good crowd. There were lots of people laughing at the funny lines, a few that were upset by the scene at the end and a few murmurs about the two guys when they did it in the tent. And even better, I could see people really felt sad about how it ended. That's what I wanted :) The ending chokes me up a bit, it really is a movie about true love. Despite the hype about the two gay cowboys, what it comes down to is that they just loved one another. The overall impression I had after first watching it (and it has held through since) is that this is a story that could really have taken place. While based on a novel, this movie (in my humble opinion) could really have been something that could have happened to two fellows. I like realism, especially since we're inundated lately by "based on actual events" movies, where the movie itself usually has nothing to do with anything resembling the actual events.



So we left Brokeback, went for coffee and came back an hour later for Narnia. This is my second time seeing this movie. As a huge fan of the books, I was delighted with this movie the first time round, but I felt it was a bit on the childish side. However, the way they introduced Aslan was quite good, it had such a nice buildup to it... When I saw it the first time, as all the creatures and then the four children knelt and Aslan comes out of the tent, I had tears running down my cheeks... geeky, sure, but it was just a moving moment. And once again, today the theatre had a lot more people in it this time and it seemed I was more involved in the movie itself. Perhaps because I've read the books a gazillion times or just that this series has special meaning to me, the first time round I felt like it was a bit jarring and choppy. Today, I sat back and enjoyed it completely. Happiness is I suppose.



The Narnia series really does have a special place in my heart for a few reasons. As a very young child, my first introduction to fantasy creatures was a magical tales type storybook that I used to read over and over. This was lost somewhere along the way, something I've always wished I had kept closer tabs on. The next fantasy thing I encountered was 'The Magician's Nephew', the prequel novel to 'The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe'. This little book had a drastic effect on the rest of my life. I found the book while looking for something to do at my uncle's place. At that time, he was a priest and finding it there among hundreds of adult religious books in his library was like striking gold. I read it twice while I was visiting there and packed it away in my suitcase when I left. I can't recall if I asked for it or not, but I was a raving kleptomaniac when I was a kid, so it's possible I just walked out with it. But it lead me to the rest of the series and that very Christmas my folks bought me the entire boxed set (which is currently on my bookshelf beside me). I always had an active imagination as a child, but this new genre of literature took me to a whole new world and I've never looked back. Fantasy's biggest contribution to my life has been the ability to accept whatever comes my way. I firmly believe that reality is not just what we see and know, but all the things we cannot see and do not know. In simpler terms, it helped me to where I am today, a believer in everything. I accept in my mind, the fact that anything is possible and given the myriad of possibilities in this one reality, I choose to accept that everything is possible and therefore probable.

Anyway, too much philosophy for a saturday night.

Two movies that are both special to me. Two thumbs up for both. Now, on to movie-vacation, where I avoid the theatres for a week at least. :)

AG-GRA-VA-TION

Definition: Stupid, inconsiderate sales reps. May their balls summarily fall off.

I like to sleep in. It's the nature of one who is nocturnal to sleep during the sunlit hours, and fly by night. Thus, getting up early in the morning is not my favorite thing.

I got up early this morning, earlier than normal, to go to an earlier than normal training session. I usually schedule my sessions at 10am. This gives me ample time to wake up and avoids bathroom conflicts with my two roommates, one who leave for work before 8, the other who leaves before 9. In my grand scheme, this provides perfect morning harmony for me.

Someone scheduled a 9am session today and I had to disrupt my routine. Shit happens, work isn't called work without reason. So I got up a extra early, waited until roommate two was finished and out the door, and I jumped into high gear and got myself ready and out the door.

I walk into the customers office and I am told that they thought someone had cancelled the session, because the machine was broken and being sent back for replacement.

"Oh" says I.

It seems the sales rep, who had setup the early morning session, had failed to contact me to let me know this rather important detail. Said sales rep is, in my humble opinion, a total jackass at the best of times. At this given moment, I equate him to the gooey substance found on the back of a decaying toad corpse.

I am aggravated, hear me roar.

Addendum: I have to eat a little bit of crow... the guy actually called last night and left me a voicemail saying it had been cancelled... and he apologised in the voicemail for not letting me know sooner.. quote: "sorry, I fucked up, it's been a hectic at work and I'm in the middle of a move" Now, like I said, I'll eat a little crow here... but the guy is still a fucktard and he did call after hours. I'm dedicated to my job, but I don't check my voicemail after hours, and certainly not first thing in morning. I check it twice daily, at noon and 4:30. And he did know for days. So I'll take a little tiny bit of the blame for this one, but I'm still aggravated. Hiss. Meow. Purr.

Dum spiro, spero

A beautiful movie... I have seen the most beautiful movie in my life. Be still my beating heart, I am certain I have fallen in love. A movie devoted to nothing but the imagination. I almost don't know what to say about it.

I stayed up to watch Finding Neverland. I've had it here for nearly four months, but I've been waiting for just the right time and opportunity to enjoy it. My Peter Pan complex has been patiently waiting just to see what the movie was all about. And now I know. I remember being so intrigued and excited about it the first time I saw the preview nearly two years ago. I missed it in theatre, partially because no one else wanted to see it, foul fiends. And now I have, and I feel better having seen it and I'm going to watch it again, but not for a long while. Let it sink in and stay, let it work on my imagination, let it become real to me. No action scenes, not much drama, a sprinkling of comedy... all in all, it's just a beautiful movie. The message is that we must use our imaginations. I had tears running down my cheeks at the end... it was just beautiful. If I could write my life into a movie, it would be this one. I don't think it did very well, I don't remember the critics liking it and I don't think many people I know would enjoy it, and I'm glad. This one I will lock away inside. I haven't a care what the rest of the world might think about it. This one is mine. I feel complete having watched it.

A Shtuken Nisht in Harts

I regularly read (or watch I suppose) a really interesting and comical livejournal. It has fairly regular posts and 99% of the time makes me giggle myself silly. The guy that does it is Canadian (yay!) and I think he's one of the most interesting personalities I've encountered on the net hailing from our fair country. Anyway, I'm straying away from the point... the journal is dedicated to photos that the journalist finds interesting. The one on there today was a little different than most of the others. The link is here, and the photo he posted today is below:



Of course, in this day and age, pictures like this can be "produced" with the proper tools. So after reading the comments under the posting, I questioned whether it was real or not. After doing more reading up on it, it seems it is an authentic photo. There's more info about it here and here. A very moving and interesting photo, really something to make one think. I also thought that, even if it was a production, the thought behind it is still there. It invokes and idea and a thought, so even if it was a fraud, it still serves a purpose.

Anyway, it reminded me of something that I experienced over the holidays. I actually started writing myself an entry on my holiday adventures, back on Dec 26th, but it has become epic in proportion and I think I'll illustrate it and divide it into paragraphs before I ever get around to posting it. Homer, move over baby, my Holiday epic is gonna make the Iliad look like cheesecloth and olive pits. So mental note, illustrate the epic, biatch... which, given my illustrating talents means copious stick figures strewn over whatever I can fiind to make interesting backgrounds... namely, ruled paper. Fuck, tis the season to digress...

Over the holidays, I had the good fortune to experience a small celebration of Hanukkah (or Chanukah? I need to find out what the difference is... Just spelling or what... one more puzzle to solve... hmm hmm, hroom hroom... ) anyway, I celebrated it with my cousin's new fiancee as we all sat down to dinner on boxing day. It was quite exciting for me, as I have never had any real chance to experience anything from the Jewish faith before. It was interesting and he gave us some background on the history and the reason it is celebrated. He also told us about other jewish holidays and which were significant and why. A thoroughly informative and enjoyable experience, topped by a fantastic dinner with family and friends.

Hmm, on the topic of dinner, tonight I have had the house to myself. One roommate is in Saint John on business and the other is staying at the hospital because he's on call for the night. Heh, third year resident, lucky him. Hehe! So I took advantage of the alone time and started my evening of 'Home Alone' by cooking myself a fantastic meal. I went and picked up some groceries earlier and whipped up an experimental concoction for fun. I started with baby red potatoes cooked in a wok with extra virgin olive oil and parsley and thyme to season. When they were soft I added in onion and soon after mushrooms. A little salt and pepper and a dash of garlic for fun and I stirred it until the veggies were just slightly soft. Then I sliced up a boneless pork loin chop, seasoned it with the same as above and tossed that in. Once all this was cooked to satisfaction, I added in a little bit of Alfredo sauce to bring it all together and VOILA! a masterpeice of culinary perfection. I have to admit, I love my sauces and creams. I think every dish I make now is either smothered in some sort of sauce or has a nice cooked side of sauteed fruit and maple syrup or something else of that nature... I am spoiling myself, I'll never find anyone to love and partner with that will be able to out-cook me the way I want it my food prepared. I may end up with a master chef, but damned if I'll roll over and take second place in my own kitchen. We may need seperate kitchens. :) Heh, oh well, the ability to cook at least ranks me a few points higher on the date-ability scale, even if it has the potential to add on extra poundage.. but with my current 'moderation-is-key' diet, I don't even have to worry about it. Anyway, the fucking meal was to die for, so succulent I though I was going to have to run through the neighborhood exclaiming my greatness! But I opted to walk the dog instead, so as to get some exercise and to let the poor bitch pee and poop. I am the epitome of caring.

Another thing about being in the house alone, is I can sing as loud as I want without fear of reprisal or embarrassment. I sing while I cook, I sing while I clean, I sing while I shower. All afternoon I sang along with Fiona Apple on 'Never Is A Promise' and Kenny Wayne Shepherd Band's 'Blue On Black'. I had the two on infinite repeat in iTunes and damn, but did I belt them out all day. The weirdest thing in the world is that my voice, after 17 years has gotten some of its strength back. As a kid singing Soprano in the church choir, I could hit any note I so desired and maintain it. Well, puberty changed my range, but the bad thing was my voice lost its strength. I could still hit a lot of notes, but not maintain them... and it became shaky and unstable at times and never really recovered. Blech. Lately I've found I've been able to maintain the notes I want, when I want to. It might have something to do with the endless hours I spend traveling for work or on trips back and forth to Cape Breton... I plug in my iPod, broadcast it over my stereo (the stereo pumps, it makes the windows in the car shake if I want it to) and I sing at the top of my lungs the entire trip. Unfortunately, I have this annoying lung problem that affects my breathing and ability to 'not-cough' at inappropriate times, but aside from that, most days I am on. It has opened up new possibilities and when I buy my new keyboard sometime soon, I may just get into wedding singing for shits and giggles. A great way to make a few extra bucks and meet interesting new people. Hmm, I may even try a niche thing... Ms. Davita, the Queer Wedding Singer... I could do GBLT weddings in drag... well, tasteful and dignified drag... :) You never know, the possibility may just be there. And I might just throw myself into Five Minutes of Fame sometime down the road. It's a possibility anyway... it would be fun and I know there's one unbelieving little fruit at Reflections that I want to prove my talent to. Hooray for vindictive and vengeful talents!

And now I think I will go throw on 'Finding Neverland', relax and enjoy the rest of my wonderful, blunderful evening 'Home Alone'. If anyone comes to rob me, they'd better bring extra condoms, cuz the only robbery I'm going for is not of a material nature. Ha! Fear me robbers, fear me. Which reminds me that I must go buy a webcam sometime soon. I owe one sexy biatch a favor... well, actually two favors... I hate owing folks and I must pay up on this debt... fun fun.

Holy fucking tangents Batman! Now, where was I...

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

I laughed and laughed over this. My dad sent it to me.

'Vengeful mouse sets house ablaze'

I imagined the mouse saying, "Yeah, well fuck you too buddy." as he ran in the house.

What a great way to say 'Fuck you!' 8-)

"Get it? Got it. Good!"

I had the fortune to go see The Producers tonight. Holy fluck, I laughed my ass off. having never seen it or read the script, it was a whole new world of funny for me. I had asked several people what they thought of it, they all said they liked it. Well, I had tears in my eyes twice :) Dynamite, I say, dynamite! The cast was great, but I cannot stand Matthew Broderick. Ugh... he gives me the willies... he did better than I was expecting, so I'll give him credit for that much... but not a fucking inch more! :) Now nathan lane... oh my, he is just a genius. What a brilliant actor he is, I love him to pieces. The main cast were all fabulous, but I was really struck by the guy playing Carmen Ghia... OMG he was funny and I don't know why but I was totally smitten from the moment he answered the door... I seriously would like to fuck the ever loving ass off him for the rest of my life. Meow gurl! His real name is Roger Bart and even though he looks familiar, I can't find anything I've seen that he's been in. But he is sexy, ded shexy even. Ah me-o my-o... what's a gurl to do... :) Anyway, loved the movie, loved the cast and would love to love Roger. He's pictured below just to keep me happy.



And again as Carmen. I want the suit, I really, really want the suit. It is to die for.

let's be banal about anal, shall we?

Under an umbrella cloud of monkey shit. We shall prevail.

I dunno where that came from, it was inspired. Mostly by the fucked up thing I call a brain. Whatever, it was memorable and thus I have put it here in my pile of mental mementos.

Anyway, on with the show. I recently had a discussion about anal sex with someone. The discussion was absurd and revolved around gay men and how being someone that "does the anal sex thing" is the real definer of who is really gay and who is not. Unfortunately, it was an online discussion, thus I couldn't give my patented "look of utter disgust and absolute disdain" to said person. What really threw me for a loop was that he was quite convinced that he was correct and that men that partake in anal intercourse are really the only gay ones... others are clearly not really gay. Definitely the most ridiculous discussion I've had with anyone in ages. I brought up several points that I thought were pretty much valid in saying anal sex has nothing to do with what makes one gay or not. Said person was unconvinced.

Forthwith, I summon to mind the simple fact that lots of hetero couples (and singles I guess...) enjoy anal sex, both men and women. I also bring to mind several gay men I know who do not like or partake in anal sex, but they are most certainly gay... ask their boyfriends and/or partners.

In summary, the conversation ended with me saying "You're being an idiot, grow up." Not the most political of ways to end a conversation, but fuck it... blinders are for horses, not humans.

"What you lookin' at?" VOGUE!

One of the women I was training today kept making eyes at me... she looked to be about mid-twenties, had long blonde hair and a pretty face... and prettah, prettah eyes... lord knows, that could have been the look she gives everyone all day long, but if I was to see her in a bar with that look on her face, and she was looking at me, well I'd be buying her drinks in about 3 seconds flat... the big thing was that she had the look going and whenever I made eye contact she did a little head thing, gave me a big smile and blinked a few times... so she may have been really flirtatious or just has odd facial expressions... I'll stick with she was been flirty :) it threw me off my routine, I stumbled a few times when she smiled at me... but I will take it as a compliment :) even funnier, the 8 or 9 other women were all of 40 or older, except one other who I'd guess was late-twenties... she happened to be standing at my shoulder so I rarely made eye contact with her, but towards the end she asked three or four questions... and with each answer she gave me the biggest smile and then a "thank you" along with a 'flirty' look... at this point I became really self-conscious, and looking around at all the woman, I started to feel like raw meat thrown into a bear den... anyway, they were a really fun and excited group, so I enjoyed the session, but I think at one point I blushed and they laughed at me... I guess it's nice to be admired :) on my way out, the girl at my shoulder was outside for a smoke break and she once again thanked me for the training and struck up a little conversation about the weather... I stayed for a few lines of banter then hiked up my skirts and ran for my life :) to be sure, it was a memorable training session :) if nothing else, I'll be going back to finish up one item we couldn't cover, so I'll get an additional ego boost ;)

on a completely unrelated topic, this made me giggle...

semi-tangible clairvoyance

So it seems I am dying. Facetious death, I waggle my finger at you... I am more than you know and I have no fear of you. This new year is upon me and I look at frozen green lawns and snowless streets, wondering about how winter has changed in the past few years. It has changed much as I have; becoming warmer, but still decidedly cold. Outside my immediate circle of friends, I rarely warm up to people and let down my defensive walls. I've though about this over the past year and, oddly enough, I don't know if I want to change. With the time I have left I think I'd like to enrich what I have and ignore everything else. I admit that I am a selfish person at heart... in as much as I would like to say I've grown and changed from childhood, the core of who I am is still greedy and lustful of each moment that I can grab to claim for myself. I want it all and I want it all now, regardless of who or what I have to walk over to get it. Normally there's no walking over anything, experiences come freely from all facets of life, but I'm looking forward now and I see an end... something I've not had to think about before and it's made me rethink my modus operandi. I have lived, thinking that politeness is the essence of humanity... I have always tried to be polite and kind to people, smiling as much as possible and taking everything in stride. But why? What are these creatures that surround me, what makes them deserving of even my attention, let alone smiles and a friendly tone. Death take them all, they are of no use to me, those mindless fools walking around in a clouded world of 'three feet in front of me is all I realize'. On the other hand, I could rape and pillage every morsel of experience from each and every one, laughing as I plunder each minute detail of their mundane lives... what a waste you are, such a horrible waste... and so I shall use you all to the very last drop, giving nothing, taking everything, a reaper let loose on a field of souls... Faire death, bring unto me a feast of souls, I shall devour them whole. And I shall die laughing at the end.

So you think you're special?