Epilogue

I went on a really nice boat ride yesterday. I had only been to the area once and that was by car, so it was a new experience for me. I got to see some beautiful islands and I caught a glimpse of two whales cresting the water. I loved the boat. It is a speed boat that reminded me of the one my uncle took me on as a child. I enjoy the way the boat hits the waves, and the spray of the water as it soaked me. I got a chill in the end, as we were out until the sun set, but it was well worth it.

Where am I?

Yesterday I realized something; when I tell a story, I'm usually not in it. I was thinking about it and when I tell people what I've done or answer questions about where I've been or how was work etc etc... I tell them about it with myself in the omniscient point of view someone would write a novel in. For example "How was your day?" would be answered by something like "Good, the boss took us out on his boat down around where he lives and showed us the area. And one of the other guys at work lived down there so we saw the town he grew up in. It was nice." rather than "I went for a nice boat ride today and I saw some really nice scenery and where the boss and one of my co-workers lives."

I was thinking about this and it's just that in my voyeuristic, look at life, experience is cool, see this - see that way, I store all my experiences as I actually experience them and I realized when I tell people about my experiences I tell them the same way, as if I was watching it all from the sidelines rather than being actually there.

Silly but true... but I know it now, so my ambition is to start being a part of my stories, rather than the narrator sitting on the sidelines.

What?

This is bizarre, but in a funny way. A guy at work pointed it out to me. All hail.

Home

I just went home for the weekend and while I'm not in a writing mood, I thought I'd post some pictures of the shore in front of my house.

This is "The Rock", sometimes known as "Ryan's Rock". This is where we swim. This is where I spent the majority of my days in the summers of my youth. Bonfires galore and many a beach party were held here.

This is the other side of the rock. We don't swim on this side, there are too many reefs. My brother was nearly battered into oblivion during a storm here, we had to fish him out before we lost him.

This is the shoreline further down where the loons perch on the rocks. I've been known to perch there myself. How fitting.

Heehee!

This is funny. You have to be a gamer and/or a geek and/or read internet stuff to really appreciate it, but even a moron can chuckle at the comic alone.

10E 20

That's a rough estimate of the number of stars in the universe, according to someone in the know. 10E 20 is a one with twenty zeros behind it, which looks like:

100,000,000,000,000,000,000

That's a lot of stars. I slept too much last night and while I tried to go to bed early this evening, so I'd be fresh as a daisy at work tomorrow, I'm not tired at all... yet. So my mind went on a tangent and here I am again, wide awake and writing it down. The speed of light is 299,792,458 meters per second which is rather fast. The distance to the moon from earth is around 380,000 kilometers, depending on where it's at in its wonky orbit (I guess nobody's perfect, so it can have an elliptical orbit if it really wants to...) This means that light takes about 1.3 seconds to get from the surface of the moon to earth. That's pretty damn quick. If I was to obliterate the moon into 10E 20 pieces, then it would only take 1.3 seconds for everyone in the visible path of light reflecting off the moon to notice it. Sound, being pokier than light, would take longer to be noticed, but it would probably be noticed by many more people, as sound would have a physical impact on earth and reverberate. Light from the sun takes approximately eight minutes to reach earth, making it less appealing for complete obliteration... and also having the downside of destroying our solar system and its energy source in the process. All for what? ... a display of power. Which it is not, in my humble opinion. True power lies in creation. Anyone or anything has the power to destroy. What we lack is the power to create, or more to the point, our powers of creation are much more limited than our ability to destroy. Thus, we are not god in total. The sun is pretty damned powerful to send energy, aka. rays of light, across the emptiness of space (which isn't really empty, but is a reasonably sound excuse for a vacuum) and across the solar system to hit us in only 8 minutes, give or take a second. People, being made up mostly of HtwoO, are basically kindling waiting to happen. Sunburns are a small taste of what the sun can do to us in a very short period of time. Extend that time and people basically become raisins. Water evaporates at a constant rate given a certain temperature, air pressure and several other conditions, and if someone was, for example, left lying in the middle of the desert, said person would evaporate, or at least their fluids would, leaving a dried out shell, made thus by nothing more than rays of light coming from the sun. A very powerful thing when you think about it. Thus, people are not really much more than raisins, or I should say grapes, with common sense enough not to lay in the desert and evaporate. So with all these suns scattered across our galaxy and the countless others out there, the amount of energy available for anyone with the ability to harness it is almost infinite. And as we are a relatively new form of intelligent life, how long will it be until we find a way to at least tap into this energy directly and find a way to make use of it directly, rather than just be recipients of it's free discharge (meaning we have a free energizer bunny that lead to our existence and current status as beings who are able to be) Moreso, without any proof for or against the existence of intelligent life somewhere not in our solar system, and that being life as we know it, as we can only imagine what possibilities of existence can be, then if any beings wished to realize humanity, and had the ability to harness the energies of the suns, what could they do without humans ever knowing it? And if they wanted to display true power would it be through destruction or through creation? And if a being can do this what is the limit of its power of creation? And if its limits go beyond our ability to imagine, does it come any closer to being able to realize god than we do? Or is it just as limited in that respect as we are, and is there some other being that it looks to find, that has even one limit less, so that it can find a realization of god?

I found happiness in a banana flavored ice cream cone today, and then this crap is what I have to deal with when I'm trying to fall asleep early. It's always there and spinning around non stop each and every minute of every day, some silly new tangents going this way and that, but it's loudest when I want to go to sleep and I'm not tired. If life were as simple as a banana flavoured ice cram cone I'd be bored stiff and would probably have died off years ago, but just once in a while I'd like to go to bed sober, not tired and not have to deal with this crap.

That took forever to write down, and only a little while to run through my head. At least I'm tired now. Bon soir, my pillow awaits.

The moment

There sometimes comes a moment when you look at where you are and notice that you're a little bit lonely, but not sure for what, and everything seems to be passing by at a pace that's not something you can or want to catch up to and morning night and afternoon are just phrases that having no real meaning in what you consider a day where it's more light and dark rather than an actual time and every face you see seems sad and lonely too, lost in little worlds alone and afraid to look beyond what is and where they are, right beside you but far away and loneliness and lostness are the only signs on the road

Number 3

Just saw Harry Potter 3 in IMAX and wow, it was cool. The big big screen really makes movies extra good in the theatre.

Two words: Alan Rickman yum yum

This is amusing.

When you've got the munchies, nothing else will do

For lack of anything better to do tomorrow night, I'm going to ask someone out. An interesting concept, to be sure. Chances of rejection super high as that boy is anti-social at the best of times, but one must do what one must do. There's a dinner party here tomorrow night and I'm not in the mood to hang around for that. The age range of the party is going to be 55-60 so as nice as those people are, it's not something I'm ready to endure. The dinner party for my age group is here Sunday night, I'll be here for that. Meanwhile back at the ranch, Mr. Chicken said to Mr. Cow, "bawk bawk" to which Mr. Cow replied, "Shut up you noisy fucking chicken." Yes, that's the kind of day it's been.

I am tired

This has been a long week. I need more sleep and more lovin, not enough of both has me frustrated, in a this and that kindof way. As well, I have to do a visit that I'm not looking forward to. The visit is just a short trip to a family members place, but it will try my patience. I like the person, but it's a visit is like touching that sore spot... you just have to do it, even you know it's going to hurt. And if I don't get laid soon I'm gonna crack. I read this blog of a girl I know who has sex so often I cannot even imagine it... I think I'd fall to pieces. While I'm not that ambitious, a little sumthin sumthin is necessary or I'm gonna lose it. And I need to lose 10 pounds. Grr, what a long week.