the things you see on the net...

Oh Yuck.

This made me un-hungry.

The comments are pretty funny. My favorite was:

"You know what's really scary? It's for a bachelor party, and a hooker is going to jump out of it wearing meatball pasties."

Hehehe!

Actually, the rest of that particular journal is worth a look see. The photos are hilarious.

Metro Transit, you make me ill

Actually, in this case it's not really the bus, it's the people on it... I've been uncomfortable on the past few bus rides I've been subjected to, having witnessed things I didn't really want to see...

Subject A - he sat in the sideways seat a few feet ahead of me near the back of the bus... he obviously had a nervous disorder of some sort, as he constantly fidgeted and looked around like the CIA were after him... the rather yucky part was that he kept picking himself... his nose, eyes, ears, face, hair, it was like he had a million itches and was determined to scratch them all... what was worse, he would pick and then look at his fingers as if he'd caught something and begin again on another area... at one point he scratched into his face enough that it started bleeding and he proceeded to clean himself off by licking his finger and wiping it all over his face... I fixated my gaze on lampposts, but I can only turn my head so far around and the bus was nearly full except for the empty seats between he and I... blech.

Subject B - she stood at the same bus stop as I did, not making a sound... as soon as she got on the bus she started hacking and coughing until I thought she would have to eventually dislodge the alien caught in her chest... luckily I was three seats back, but the girl she was sitting next to looked traumatized... I know I didn't exactly feel all that well after 20 minutes of hearing that, I certainly didn't feel very clean... I was wondering what was in the air... ick...

Subjects C, D and E - surround and conquer, they used that tactic... fat little old lady and crabby little old man had a war of words two seats in front of me... it didn't last too long, thank goodness, but I was tired and it was enough to give me a headache... and of course, I had to sit next to sleeping beauty... some guy, about 6 foot 5 or more who had fallen asleep and was snoring really loudly... the back half of the bus was staring a hole through him, and thus, being beside him, everyone was also looking at me by proxy... it just made me uncomfortable...

so there, pesky bussessesses... I feel like purchasing a sound proof personal bio-dome so that I can ride the bus noise and germ free :)

*GASP*

My good gods, I saw this and my heart skipped a beat! MEOW!

Just when I thought I couldn't possibly find him in a more sexually appealing pose, this comes along... I'm so beside myself I can't think. Well, I can think pink! That's about it. Oh meow, meow, meow!

Oddly enough, I wasn't even looking for anything Brad, I was just reading the news and moseying along through a few random blogs and I ended up finding the pic. What a wonderful way to start a Monday. :)

It was on nightcharm.com, a fun little place to read gossip and fantasize about whatever the writers happen to be presenting on a silver platter for the day. Well, they have my thanks today. I'll take two orders of the main course.

Metro Transit, you make me ache

My damn back is achy and it's completely the fault of Metro Transit, the bus system in Halifax... at least I'll shovel all blame onto them, though technically they didn't design the seats on the buses, but they bought them and use them. The weekend was quite an adventure for me, tarnished only by the fact that I think I spent a combined 12 hours either riding on or standing in the cold waiting for buses. Yeesh. Thursday night was Lulu, but sortof not... my roommate (for the first time in as long as I've known him) decided to come to the show. His friend Tim was hosting the show while Lulu was away and doing drag for the evening, a flattering mock up of dear Lulu... we were in stitches the whole time. The highlight of the night for me was Travis as he zoomed from one end of the bar to the other echoing the word "merit", a crucial part of the show that had been lackluster all night. I think all the audience appreciated his efforts. I know I nearly fell off my stool. The roomie and I both had to work in the morning so I drove us home in his car... car, I say, I drove an actual car... it's been two weeks today since mine decided to be a wanton harlot and leave my side... pesky car, but I digress... so home we go after bumping into the beautiful Hanna and Matt, who convinced us (I asked, and Hanna playfully shoved a chicken shawarma in my face, teehee) that the roomie needed food from Venus Pizza. We went and as I had experienced before, the counter guy was rude. Le sigh, I actually wanted a slice of pizza, but I can't deal with rude customer service... peskiness, true peskiness... home we go. I checked my email and found a reply to an email I had sent to a special guy, we've had a chance to chat online a few times since then. I've had stars in my eyes all weekend. Whee! I was dreading Friday morning, I knew it would include 3 hours of bussing to northeast Dartmouth and back for a training session... at least it had stopped raining, it rained all bloody week. After the exhausting and uncomfortable ride back I spent the rest of the day tidying my room and doing laundry, which inevitably lead into a shopping trip. So roomie and another friend and I all went on a little outting to Bayer's lake for fun. I wanted a new pair of jeans, but didn't see anything I liked. So I bought a toy instead. It was $4.99 for a Boohbah Zippity Zumbah, the purple thing below...



So my friends thought I was crazy buying it, but it amused me and was cheap. Who doesn't want cheap amusement?!? So we made a trip to Liquor Heaven (the stylish new NSLC store they opened in Bayer's lake) and bought some Heineken and went home to watch some SVU. I gamed into the wee hours of the night and overslept, nearly missing out on a friend visiting for the day. We met up and had dinner at Swiss Chalet, a place I haven't been in eons. Good lord, their ribs are to die for! My dad does the best ribs I've ever had at home on the BBQ, but man o' man, Swiss Chalet is a close second. A little bit of heaven on a plate, dolloped in sauce... mmm, sauce... We shopped all afternoon and then met up with another friend at Second Cup on Spring Garden. What a hoot, the two of them are like a comedy duo. We ended up recruiting two more folks and dancing into the wee hours of the morning at Reflections. I got to bed around 5:30am and slept a bit, then got up and jumped on another bloody bus. Luckily, earlier aforementioned shopping friend was on the bus as planned, so we did a bit more shopping and met up with another friend for brunch. An entirely fun but exhausting weekend, the only sore point to it all being my back. Whatever the bus seat did to me Friday morning it's been sore and achy since. Pesky bus. Of course, hours of dancing, walking around the city and lack of sleep had no effect on my back whatsoever. I should sue Metro Transit!

Good grief that was longer than I anticipated. I haven't written that much in a while. I must have been inspired. :)

The Godfather, Part 1

[Scene:] Al Pacino moves slowly to the forground holding nothing but a ...

Shit, wait... that's the wrong godfather. I meant me!

I got to talk to my friend in Edmonton today, she delivered her baby boy two weeks ago yesterday. Her sister lives with her and her mom is visiting for two weeks, so all's well in the household. She sounds really happy about the whole thing, it all went very well for her. I'm very excited myself, as one of my best friends has a little boy now... she's a mom! Still feels weird to say it after almost a year of talking about it, but she'll be home to visit in 3 weeks time so I guess it will really sink in at that point.

I had a good laugh during our conversation. I know a lot more about birthing and labour than most men would, having watched and read numerous TV show, internet articles and books on the subject. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure why I've read as much as I have, but I read so much about everything under the bloody sun that I guess it just got into the list at some point... go figure...

Anyway, she mentioned that she was in labor for 27 hours, which I know isn't all that uncommon a thing, but I said out loud, "Whew! 27 hours!" to which she replied, "No Dave! I wasn't PUSHING for 27 hours, I was just in labour." I went into peals of laughter, I couldn't help myself. We had a good chuckle over that and imagined how much you'd be pummeling the doctor screaming, "GET HIM OUT, NOW!" after 27 hours of pushing. Hehe!

Anyway, I'm going to be the godfather for the baby so I am rather excited about that too. At this point, the father isn't going to be involved with the child, so while I'm not going to become a father figure per say, I at least look forward to having some impact on this little child... if in no other way, at least I can smile, encourage and give birthday and holiday gifts. :)

"the continuing story of a quack who's gone to the dogs..."

So it seems that I can exchange the useless car part for another of the same nature, but with different genitals. The one I received was a male with a long dangly wire... the one I require is female with a great big slot. Who knew you could get gender confused car parts...

It looks like it should arrive at the repair centre on Tuesday, so if all works out well, I'll have it back Wednesday. That means I'll have it for two out-of-city work trips at the end of next week. I'll keep my toes crossed in the meantime...

I took the poochie out for a walk just as the sun was setting. On the way back I got a look at the first evening star and as always, I made a wish using the old children's rhyme "Star light, star bright," I've been making lots of wishes on stars lately, but none of them have come true. But that's really the fun of wishing... having hopes and dreams makes us more than simple automatons that endlessly work until death. So I'll keep wishing and hoping and dreaming and who knows but that one day, one of the wishes might just come true.

"and in other news..."

the weekend was fun, though tiring... Friday was an evening with the relatives where we all got loaded (some of us more than others) and played cards all evening. Saturday was dinner at il Mercato (holy good gravy, what delectable food!) followed by the Parade of Lights downtown (which was really nice, but was made fantastic by the commentary of a few friends and a random stranger that stood beside us) followed by a houseparty that lasted until the sun came up. Sunday was recovery day followed by a trip to see harry Potter, which was OK, but I need to watch it again to make a final decision on if I really liked it or not.

Moral of the story... if you ignore the shittier things that may be happening to you, you realize that the nice things are much more fun and worthwhile of your attention.

drama ensues

the story continues... after waiting a week to find and have a part shipped here for the car, we delivered it this morning and were told they would try to work on it today, but no guarantees... so rather than spend an entire day in the middle of nowhere with a possibility the car would not even get looked at, we drove back to Halifax... later this afternoon, the voicemail arrived saying the part was the right part, but the connectors on it didn't match, thus the part can't be used... I am sadly disgusted with said car and wish nothing more than to watch it burn in flames eternal... and all I've been able to say to myself this entire week has been, "you should have bought a fucking Chev" ... I'm sorely tempted to retrieve the fucker, tear the engine out and have someone custom mount a small block 350 Chev engine in it just for spite... at least I'd know that if the thing died on the highway in the middle of nowhere, I could go to any scrap yard in the maritimes to find parts for the bloody thing... FUCK!

Mobilicorpus!

I need one of these.



If you happen to have on in your closet or sock drawer, please let me know. I would be eternally grateful.

It seems this little piece of plastic and metal, about five inches or so in diameter, is essential in making my car mobile. It's function is to determine when the spark should be sent through to the plug, thus igniting the compressed gas forcing the piston downwards and providing force to make the car mobile. Without it, the car has become an oversized lawn ornament.

The issue being that said piece of plastic and metal, if bought brand new, is around $1400. Add to that the towing charges and the hourly rate to look at, diagnose and repair the car and, well, it ain't gonna happen...

So if you happen to have one of these thingys lying around, let me know. :)

anger

OK, so you're going to be calm. You're mental state is fluctuating by the minute and the neurons seem bent on failing, but hold on. The onset of the encroaching cold spell and the dismal days of half light half dark are dragging you downwards. The futility of pouring your heart into a letter and actually sending it is enough to rub raw every nerve in your bloody being, but that was last week. Challenge ahoy, this week the damn car is trying to engage apoplexy but you can beat it too. Just think about all the fun you could have cheerfully smashing the thing into a million pieces with nothing more than a 5 iron. This will go away, all of it will. And then it will be summer again and it will be alright.

fate

Sara: [Writing down her phone number] I can't believe I'm doing this.
Jonathan: Please let fate take its proper course.
[large truck zooms by, wind knocks number from his hand into a pile of blowing trash on the sidewalk]
Jonathan: That was an accident! Write that down please?
Sara: I can't! That's a sign. Fate's telling us to back off.
Jonathan: If fate didn't want us to be together, then why did we meet tonight? Got you!
Sara: I don't know, it's not an exact science, it's a feeling.
Jonathan: What if you're wrong? Huh? What if it's all in our hands and you just walk away? No names, no phone numbers, what do you think's gonna happen? Do you think good ol' fate is gonna deliver my information to your doorstep?
Sara: You know, that's the best idea you've had all night.
Jonathan: What's the best idea?
Sara: [giving Jonathan a $5 bill] Here you go. Write your name and number down.
Jonathan: On this $5 bill?
Sara: Yeah, just do it.
Jonathan: [writing down his name and phone number] You are a strange and interesting woman.
[gives her the $5 bill]
Jonathan: Now what?
Sara: Wait there.
[crosses the street and buys a roll of mints with the $5 bill]
Jonathan: Hey! What the hell was that?
Sara: Well, if that $5 bill makes its way back into my hands, I'll be able to call you, and when you hear my voice on the other end, then you'll believe in fate, won't you?
Jonathan: Hey! What about me?
Sara: What do you mean?
Jonathan: Well, we have to send something out in the universe with your name, don't we? I mean, that's the only fair thing.
Sara: That *is* the only fair thing. What have I got? Ooh, no, I have a really good idea.
Jonathan: [looking at the band playing] That's a lot of tubas.
Sara: [holds up a book] See this book?
Jonathan: Yeah!
Sara: [opens the book] So, when I get home tonight, I'm gonna write my name and number in this book, and first thing tomorrow morning, I'll sell it to a used bookstore.
Jonathan: Which one? You're not gonna tell me, you're not gonna tell me? Why not?
Sara: Now every time you pass an old book store you're gonna have to go inside to see if it's there!

*****

Dean: Johnathan Trager, prominent television producer for ESPN, died last night from complications of losing his soul mate and his fiancee. He was 35 years old. Soft-spoken and obsessive, Trager never looked the part of a hopeless romantic. But, in the final days of his life, he revealed an unknown side of his psyche. This hidden quasi-Jungian persona surfaced during the Agatha Christie-like pursuit of his long reputed soul mate, a woman whom he only spent a few precious hours with. Sadly, the protracted search ended late Saturday night in complete and utter failure. Yet even in certain defeat, the courageous Trager clung to the belief that life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. Uh-uh. But rather, its a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan. Asked about the loss of his dear friend, Dean Kansky, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author and executive editor of the New York Times, described Johnathan as a changed man in the last days of his life. "Things were clearer for him," Kansky noted. Ultimately Johnathan concluded that if we are to live life in harmony with the universe, we must all possess a powerful faith in what the ancients used to call "fatum", what we crrently refer to as destiny.

*****

Dean: You know the Greeks didn't write obituaries. They only asked one question after a man died: "Did he have passion?".

*****

Davey: So what does all this mean? Fuck if I know, I just like the movie and wish it was a true story. And I wish I was the girl. :-)

heh

I had wished on a star earlier this evening. An old habit that I never intend to break. Then while perusing Despair.com with a friend I saw this and had a good chuckle.

hehehehehe!

I read this in the morning paper and roared. It made my day! :)

'you talkin' to me?'

someone suggested that my Halloween costume was Boy George if he was Amish...

fuck you too ;)

fairest dream, do come true, or get the fuck outta my head

hehe, why be subtle, when you can bash your head against a problem until it collapses in upon itself... that's what I did! my problems seem to have melted away with the tides...

I leave in the morning to spend 5 days visiting at home on CB... a well deserved break from the silliness of my life and a step towards preparing for bloody winter and it's dark, cold months...

the sad part is, I leave a piece of my heart here and when I come back I'm afraid it's going to be gone... peskiness ensues...

the hat made my head uncomfortably warm

I was sober when I did this... sheesh...



well, last week was busy as all fuck and I can honestly say I was moody and not so much fun for a lot of it... I was looking forward to Halloween, but since my costume was a flop, I had to find another one at the last minute... I did, it was very sad but a plastic hat and pink braids hanging next to one another on a shelf made me think of Boy George, so I decided I'd do a mock up... it was bad, but it amused me... I knew alcohol was in my immediate future, so I didn't take it too seriously :)

I ended up at a party in Truro drinking my ass of and then going to a local bar called Chevys and dancing my ass off :) it was a great bunch we went with and it was nice to go somewhere different for a change... Reflections is sorta the same old thing, just with pretty costumes... as much as I like it and feel comfortable hanging out there, it can be ever so slightly repetitive...

my dinner date on monday was fun, the boi is really nice and can cook up a damn fine meal :) we'll probably hang out some more... work this week sucks, I've had scheduled stuff and cancellations left right and centre... I have to pay off the damn car this weekend and I'm going to have just enough money to do it, but with lack of actual hours this week, I may be eating ritz crackers and cardboard next week... blargh... thank fuck it'll be over and paid with and I can get back to my regularly monthly budgeting...

friday is my pulmonary exam and I expect they'll tell me I have minor asthma problems... with the doctor has already figured out, but wants to be sure nothing else is fucked up... with my luck lately, I have a lung filled with elephants casuing me to feel congested and to wheeze a lot, and thus I'll need inter-elephantal surgery to correct it :) go lungs!

I feel weird inside, it's not gone away and I'm tired of feeling weird... and the two people I want to talk to I can't talk to... sigh, my plant has yellow leaves that are falling off, which is how I feel... at least this weekend I can go home and visit and forget all the crap I'm leaving behind here in Haliland... well, at least for a few days :)