Thunderclouds on the horizon

The sound of rain echoes through the room. A sweet smell of freshly wet earth fills the air. The sky is dark and gray and the world quiets as the rain lets up. Such a calming display by nature in the midst of seasonal change. The calm before the storm.

Where do we go? Nobody knows.

You cannot make someone like you or make someone love you. You cannot change a heart that has decided.

Just cuz

I've been listening to this song on the radio a lot lately and I really like it. The music is great and I found the lyrics today. They're just as good.

Into Your Hideout

I've made it my dear face it, I still kiss the darkness
What I've wasted, I still taste it, I'm sickened and hardened
I'm gonna tear, I'm gonna tear your walls down
I'm gonna tear, I'm gonna tear your walls down

I stole into your hideout

I walked with you, I talked with you, I still can't help thinking
Your drugs bleeding, so sweet yet fleeting, my memories are sinking
I'm gonna tear, I'm gonna tear your walls down
I'm gonna tear, I'm gonna tear your walls down

I stole into your hideout
And it's cold there now,

And everything outside the truth, there's nothing more to cut it loose,
I've left the path and the road just disappeared

Gray shadows and white meadows, a bitter snow is falling
My legs fail me, the ground hails me, distant lights are calling

Into your hideout, into your hideout dear, tearing my heart out now

And you say,
And I say,
And I stole into your hideout

- Pilate

Splat

I've been settled in one place for over 6 months, things have to change, I can feel it in the air. I'm like the lady in Chocolat who hears the wind calling... well not really, but my car sucks and I'm worried it could die anytime. That's the reason I left here last time, because my car sucked, and it still sucks. But I found a place not far from work and it's on a lake with a nice property and lots of privacy. But it's more than I anted to pay for a place to stay. Sigh. When I win the lotto I'm buying a condo, a house on the lake and a house by the sea. That way I can stay where ever my heart feels like stopping for a moment or two.

But I digress. I have to decide on this house on the lake this week, but wouldn't move there until September 1st. So my mind is riddled with questions and doubts about budgeting and sanity. Looks like it's going to be a fun week.

Frightfully flaccid

I encounter them daily, watch them interact, listen to them speak, observe their ability to be a couple and one tells me one day that finding a woman is what I should focus on. Every part of me snickered and I smiled and nodded and thought what wonderful advice this is from someone who I cannot tell if he has ever loved the woman for a split second and if their wedded bliss is nothing more than a veil covering the fact that children was a good enough reason to tie the knot. Affection does not equal love, and I have yet to even see that. The most I have observed is mild tolerance of one another. Now in the privacy of ones home, one can be a completely different person, and a couple can be completely different. I certainly hope this is the case, otherwise this prime example of a typical family is sadly lacking in love. How sad that makes me is beyond words. All I can do is hope that there's more that I cannot see and that happiness is hidden away from my watching eyes.

A new world?

It looks like CL will have another counter world again... I never got to try Alchera, as the downloads never worked correctly for me... but since those days, I've gotten a new system and I know a few people from CL that played Alchera and will be playing this new one called Arindal... I'm excited, as I enjoy CL, but after 5 and a half years, a little variation would be nice. The Arindal website is here.

On another note, I built a PC for myself so I'll have something to toy with for work reasons. Doing tech support and building PCs at work means I need to keep my mind fresh and up to date, so using some spare parts, a few used items, a few left over items bought from work and one or two new items I put together a PC. And the first program I'm going to install is AO, as a co-worker gave me a free code for a month free. So lots of new games on the horizon, maybe CL will finally lose its hold on me and I'll be free! naw, screw that... ;-)