yes, clam. my storm has already blown past... this busy work week cleared up my ridiculous bout of depression and provided a cathartic relief on a few sore points in life... not having enough to do makes me over think things, so last week was a bitch... anyway, I'm no longer ill with tummy problems, no longer lacking work and no longer wound up over men and women... so it's back to mild normalcy in my world, about one fifth of a level in normal normalcy... whatever the fuck...
I did dinner and a movie with ex boi, which allowed me to just be comfortable with him, making things alright on that mental circle... comfortable is the way only way I would describe it, it usually takes longer, but it was a pretty short-lived thing anyway... stupid attachment issues... where it goes from here is his to decide, I am content with whatever happens...
my urges to float in the wind were strong this past month and for once the wind wasn't blowing in a Nova Scotia direction... it was blowing me away for adventures afar... I didn't figure out where and I can't say I really want to find out today, but at least for now I'm still settled... odd that I would get the urge in the fall, it's almost always spring summer and fly in the fall, not the other way around...
the scheme is afoot, and then a second one... the first a ploy to win the hand of some dashing lad, but I find I've stacked the deck against myself... that will be difficult... the other players at the table are holding hands I can't even fathom a guess at, and I'm the only one with chips on the table... but if I win, what a prize it may be... draw, fold or raise... I just don't know and time is failing...
the second ploy is much harder and will require a level of deviousness I haven't had to employ in a few years... how to do it says I... the plot and the theme are written, and the first act is prepared, but it's the finale that will prove my undoing if it fails, I will be utterly spent and left without any way to salvage myself... but it requires another five months to implement, so there will be time to develop a fail-safe, i just can't figure out what it will be...
and so a storm looms on the horizon, figuratively and literally... my own storm seems much more devastating, but if the other big fucker comes up on it's current path, we may get smashed by more wind and rain... I'm so sick of seeing hurricane/earthquake/typhoon/tsunami/tornado shit on TV that I can't even think about it anymore... as long as my house doesn't get blown down, my power and internet aren't knocked out and I can drive to work i don't give a rats ass what the fuck happens to those poor bastards down south... callous, yes... but I've been CCNized into carelessness about natural disasters... good luck to yas, ya poor bastards, but let it hit yas and then keep the fucking thing... I don't want it here...
