Sheesh, we're past the mid point of 2007. Where did the time fly by to...
People say that to me every so often, or something like it and I can't help but cringe. A day or a month or a year or a millennia is just a pre-packaged human thought process, it doesn't exist in nature. As the natural tendencies in our species towards 'order' propel civilization, we tend to dwell more and more on time and the classification of how we spend/make use of time. I don't see anything wrong with that tendency, it's what has made us excel on many levels... but it's not the be all and end all of existence. 2007 has been turbulent in a few ways, but nothing compared to other years. I don't get the feeling that the year has passed quickly. I find I've immersed myself in life to a greater degree; thus, the days have gone by and I haven't noticed it happen as much as I once would have. I'm quite content smelling the flowers and I can happily sit and stare at nothing for long periods of time, but that's not all... my sense of time is just blunted. I'm happily wading through things that attract my attention and hours, days and weeks seem to fly by without notice. I call that enjoying life. I'm happy.
Needless to say, I can be at work and time does not fly by. I'm only human (for the moment, muhuhahahah!). I sometimes feel strange anxiety for no apparent reason or at least for reasons that don't make any sense... but once it's gone I'm back drifting happily along... I went to Cape Breton on the long weekend and even though I was only there for two days, it seemed like a long time. There was no rushing involved or anything to vex me or make it seem short, so for me it wasn't. It was just a nice trip.
Granted that life's been peachy, I did something stupid last week. I freaked out on someone for no apparent reason and I actually yelled. I haven't yelled at anyone in four years, and before that incident it would have been closer to eight or nine years... sheesh. Numerous factors were involved in the situation, but as I examined everything in the time before that, it just looked like silly excuses. I can come to terms with reactionary incidents where cause and effect seem to play a part in what happens, but irrational outbursts make no sense to me. Within a few minutes of this particular irrational outburst I had apologized and all I could do was think to myself, "What the fuck was that? Where did that come from? Why were you yelling?" I was completely at a loss for an explanation. Luckily, I was forgiven and things moved on and away, but it bugs the hell out of me. As a logical person, I dislike and am irritated by illogical behavior; not in other people, in myself. If I can't explain something to myself, give it cause and effect or rationalize, it drives me batty. Fortunately, such instances are rare. Fucking allergy season.
While in New brunswick today, I decided to grab a tea at a Tim's. Let me tell you, I had the blow of my life right there in the restroom. No, not that kind... they had the most powerful hand dryer I have ever encountered. It scared the fucking shit out of me. [I'm not a morning person and after getting up early and driving for 2 hours, I was not anywhere near to being awake and aware. Thus the tea break... which was prefaced by a trip to the loo. In my half asleep state of being, I was ill prepared for what I was about to experience.] Now, I have used a high powered leaf blower on several occasions and I can honestly say that this hand dryer beats the living shit out of ANY leaf blower I've ever used. When I first put my hands under, I nearly had a heart attack, but it dried my hands almost immediately. So after my heart crawled back up into my chest, I went back for seconds. It was by far the funniest thing I've seen in a while. My morbid mind thought up funny headlines that might be found in the newspaper, like, 'Man dies from heart attack in encounter with local restaurant blower' etc... it was an odd day. Anyway, I want one... I'd never have to use a towel again! Take that you fucking towel bastages!
I hate when people watch while I work. I hate it even more when they are trying to be inconspicuous about it. Fuck. In today's adventure I had to dismantle a 3 foot by 3 foot by 4 foot printer to change an internal fan. The problem being, I had no idea how to take it apart. Until I showed up at the customer's business, I had never seen this model printer and I could not find anything on the interwebith with instructions. Thus, it was dismantle by trial and error. That doesn't scare me in the least, I was one of the kids that took things apart to see how they worked.. and then put it back together in working condition :) Only N00BS broke shit haha! So I played the 'Find out which screw comes off next' game and the customer sat at her desk 3 feet away working. Le sigh. She was a nice lady, otherwise I probably would have gotten frustrated and fucked it up totally. All in all, I made it work the way it should. She was happy and overall, I enjoyed the experience.
I stop writing for a while and this is the result... a never ending maze of thoughts. I could keep going for hours, but work would be ten levels of hell if I don't get my bee-ooty sleep. I've played some Warcraft and some Clan Lord this week. It's nice to wantonly whack shit and then run away from the corpse. Hehe!
