sometimes our outlook on the world can change and it makes everything seem different.
sometimes how we look at ourselves changes and it makes everything seem different.
I was unhappy with myself and one day, out of the blue, my view of myself changed in a split second. I gave myself a righteous kick in the ass and set out to change something in my life, namely 'me'. I feel good about that.
I spent Thursday evening visiting with Colin and we sat and talked for a few hours about life and miscellaneous stuff and most importantly, about the two of us. For a change, I wasn't a can of clams... I was open and talked about me, my feelings and my hopes concerning the two of us. It was a good talk and long overdue. I think we both got something really good out of it. Since we broke up, we've actually gotten closer and our friendship has benefitted. Truth be known, I want more than friendship... and after my self improvement and our conversation last night, I feel good about the fact we both agree that it is a possibility. No one knows the future, but at least now it's something that is a possibility; if we hadn't talked about it, I would never have known and never had the chance to express myself. The was the old me in a nutshell. We came to the conclusion that we will go on as we have been, as friends, and depending on how things go we'll evaluate that possibility down the road and see what happens. I am happy.
All in all, after a difficult and fatiguing week, it was a very enjoyable outcome. I feel like I've grown as a person.
All this on a day that my hair was so bad I had to wear a baseball cap. Hehe!
