time keeps on slippin'

In three days I will be home. Yaahoo!! Whatever the outcome, my decision was made and acted on, and now I have some direction. Interesting, if nothing else...

I sit here at work, with two days left once I leave here this evening. Noone has been hired to replace me as of yet, so my only way to really help he/she/it that takes over, is to document the job as clearly as possible. This is not fun. As with any job, there are a million trivialities, stupid little things that you need to know to make things work as they should... the hard part is choosing which ones to put down in writing to best help he/she/it... It's tedious, boring, and fruitless labour, because no matter how well I document the position, there are things he/she/it has to figure out on their own. It's a catch 22 in some ways..

But I digress... My time here is at an end and I am happy. The co-workers have been the joy of this workplace and I will miss them. The stereotypes and the prejudices I can live without... but we have managed to co-exist and become friends in this little office, so upon leaving, I will miss them.

I return home to 1) work full-time and 2) finish my BA at university.
The dichotomy I face on returning home: the university is very open-minded and tolerant, whereas the workforce is not. I go back to school, knowing that being queer on campus is generally accepted and the people there are mostly younger than me, and many have healthy attitudes towards sexual diversity. The workforce is mostly older than me and is not very accepting of sexual deviants. So, while I have no intention of going wild and wearing a huge banner that reads "I'm BI! I like girls and guys!", I am not sure where I will draw the line in my activities and actions, on campus, at the workplace, and in the community in general.

As always, "I tell who I want, when I want!", about my sexuality, and that will never change. But I'm not sure how to achieve balance between these three things. I want to get involved in the queer society on campus. I want to get involved in the local les/gay community group. I want to wear my pride ring and earrings when I feel like it, where I feel like it. On the flipside, I'm not ready to tell my family, and I know that the general population, especially those older than I, are very intolerant of queers.

So my mind is in a bit of a fog as I ponder what my next steps will be. For fun I applied to a job *at* the university. It would be exciting to work there while I go back to school. I am underqualified and I don't even expect to get a callback, but it made me smile to think about it. Working in a place of higher learning, has always been a treat for me... and the concept is exciting. Unfortunately, the reason I'm going to school there is so that jobs like the one I applied for will be no longer out of my reach. Yet another catch 22... for now. Finish degree, be qualified, terrorize the unsuspecting fools that look for employees, with a piece of paper that makes me eligible to those fussy HR departments. Heehee.

ramble ramble ramble

So I prepare to leave, prepare to start again in my home community, and prepare to adjust to small town life again. As in the past, I hold a shield made of all my strongest qualities to help succeed... but I wonder if anyone will notice that this time there's a little rainbow painted on it.